20:39 <VoxPVoxD> Is Bob available around 1PM to respond to a text that goes <are you terribly busy this afternoon?> 20:40 <tom> BG: <i can postpone the final battle with the antichrist to 8pm> 20:40 <tom> <whats up> 20:41 <VoxPVoxD> <that's odd... i didn't have you on my calendar 😈> 20:42 <VoxPVoxD> <but no i want to impose on you for a Favour> 20:43 <VoxPVoxD> <could you take kaga out for a couple of hours? i need to clean and take a call and he's being troublesome> 20:43 <tom> <i gotta hash out maris bday with sumi later but im just watching streams> 20:44 <tom> Quickly followed up: <yeah i need to go outside anyway> 20:44 <VoxPVoxD> <😊> 20:45 <VoxPVoxD> <i'm home all day obviously. come on over whenever! tysm> 20:45 <VoxPVoxD> Bob's phone probably doesn't run iMessage so he can't tell that Willie starts to type and then deletes something here. 20:46 <tom> Cheap burner that it is, no. He's standing outside her door in the miserable weather about half an hour later, trying to warm his hands by blowing on them. Somehow that just leaves them colder. 20:46 <tom> At least it's not snowing yet? 20:47 <tom> He's got a little shopping bag with him. Looks like he stopped by... do they even have a PetCo here? 20:49 <VoxPVoxD> Willie buzzes him up. He can feel the bass of whatever music she's listening to through the door, but it only filters out into the hall when the door opens, revealing Willie, looking utterly exhausted beneath the towel wrapped around her hair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVkc6UF1mzI 20:50 <VoxPVoxD> When she sees him, some of the weariness bleeds away. She smiles. "Come in, come in! You look like you're freezing." 20:51 <tom> Bob's chuckling as he steps inside, smiles: "Oh man, is he trying to talk over you on the zoom call?" 20:51 <tom> "...Does he do that?" 20:52 <tom> He sets the shopping bag down on the coffee table, plops on down onto the sofa and starts rummaging through it. 20:52 <VoxPVoxD> The flat is a bit of a wreck, in the way small living spaces tend to be when you're cleaning them thoroughly. The appliances are pulled away from the walls, the furniture's all moved around... the air smells of something citrusy and caustic. "No, he's trying to talk under me. No one else can understand him, I'm sure. Not a lot of Aramaic-speakers in DCS. But! The effect is unpleasant." 20:54 <tom> There's a poop scoop, some baggies, some technicolor chewtoys, dog treats... and what appears to be some sort of heavy-duty harness attached to a leash. 20:55 <tom> Bob nods like he gets it, doesn't. 20:55 <tom> "...He's not gonna try to tell everyone hell is real, right?" 20:55 <tom> "Like little kids and shit." 20:55 <tom> "I just mean that could make walking him hard." 20:56 <VoxPVoxD> "Not really his style." Willie leans over to peek into the bag and grins. "Ahaha. Beautiful. Kaga! Dearest. Mummy's arranged a playdate." 20:57 <tom> Bob cocks his head and begins strapping on his end of the harness. "Safety first." 20:58 <tom> "Any idea how much he can pull if he really gets pissed?" 20:59 <VoxPVoxD> "I mark your assertion of motherhood among the insults I will avenge, half-breed." The dog starts speaking before he walks into view and only finishes the sentence when he comes right up to Bob, up at whom he then looks. "Ah. The fat one." 21:00 <tom> "Haha, I see you spent all night on that one." 21:00 <tom> Bob smiles and ruffles the demon's prosaic fur playfully. 21:00 <VoxPVoxD> Kagemenauch the Flayed endures this silently. 21:00 <tom> "Time to get in the doggie vest and let me pick up your poop, dude." 21:01 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Bob's going to take you out for a while. You are to obey him as you would me, and you are not to horrify or terrorise anyone unless Bob asks you to." 21:01 <tom> "I now order you to not terrorize anyone even if I ask you to. Ha. Try figuring that one out, prick." 21:01 <VoxPVoxD> To Bob: "Do you want some coffee? I have a thermos." 21:02 <tom> "Oh man, thanks. That'd be great." He slaps his knees and stands. 21:02 <VoxPVoxD> Willie gives him the thermos. Feels about 2/3 full. "I'll pull myself a celebratory shot once I've got the kitchen back in order." 21:02 <VoxPVoxD> "How are you doing?" 21:03 <tom> "I like waiting for checks a lot more than I like waiting for midnight client calls." 21:04 <tom> "...You hear anything from Sergio's crew about what went down?" 21:04 <tom> Bob sips the thermos thoughtfully. "The money helps. It really does." 21:04 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "He called last night, but I was asleep. I'll see him tonight." 21:04 <VoxPVoxD> "...yeah." 21:05 <tom> "But, you know." 21:05 <VoxPVoxD> The dog looks from man to woman and back. 21:05 <tom> He kneels and pulls out Kaga's end of the harness, starts strapping the muscled dog in. 21:05 <tom> "It'd help if we knew there weren't MIA's still out there." 21:06 <VoxPVoxD> <Were I not enslaved, this unpardonable offence would be met with centuries of torture.> 21:06 <VoxPVoxD> He doesn't actually resist the harness, though. 21:06 <tom> "This is made of the same shit they make spaceships out of dude. This is luxury." 21:06 <tom> He twangs the taut carbon leash. 21:07 <VoxPVoxD> Yip! 21:07 <tom> "If you promise not to threaten me with any more torture you'll get a treat. Bacon flavored," he rolls the words. 21:07 <tom> "...I think we're good to go, yeah?" He gets up, beaming. 21:08 <tom> "How long you need?" 21:09 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "A couple of hours should be enough. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Agh, you're such a lifesaver." She has to awkwardly lean over the dog to give Bob a hug, but she does it anyway. She smells like lilacs and gooseberries. 21:10 <tom> Bob takes the embrace with a pained look that only Kagamenauch can see, what with him visibly trying not to think about what she smells like. 21:10 <tom> It's back to a smile by the time Willie pulls away enough to see his face. 21:11 <tom> "Alright dude, let's go," He'll tug on the leash, but gently. Animal abuse is fucked even if its a demon. Just facts here. 21:11 <VoxPVoxD> "Play nice," says Willie, presumably to the dog. 21:11 <VoxPVoxD> <Enjoy the time alone with your thoughts.> 21:12 <tom> Bob is pulling up some maps on his phone and picks a route to the nearest park. 21:12 <tom> "Later Willie." 21:13 <VoxPVoxD> In the hall, once the door is shut: <What is your name?> 21:14 <tom> "William Goreman. Put a good word in with your boss." 21:14 <tom> He leads the dog down the street. 21:16 <tom> The two are linked by a heavy-duty carbon fiber umbilical on a kind of tensioned pulley. Bob gives the creature enough slack to roam a bit, but draws it in as other pedestrians and their pets approach, trying to gauge Kaga's reaction. 21:17 <VoxPVoxD> Once they're outside, Kaga is entirely silent. Bob gets some attention walking the dog - mostly from women walking their own dogs. But they can't stick around for small chat because for some reason their animals start freaking the fuck out as soon as they stop to say "Oh, what's this handsome fella's name then?" or the like. 21:18 <VoxPVoxD> One lady about Aster's age is almost knocked over by her corgi trying to climb her like a tree to shiver in her arms. 21:21 <tom> "Huh, wonder what's gotten into her," he'll muse with just the slightest pang of apology in his voice, hurrying past the woman and gently carrying the mastiff along with. 21:22 <VoxPVoxD> Kaga himself doesn't react until they're reasonably far away from other people, at which point he makes a gentle chuffing sound that might be a laugh. 21:22 <tom> "It is pretty funny." 21:22 <tom> He'll get a bacon treat anyway. 21:23 <tom> "So are you just a dick all the time, one hundred percent?" 21:25 <VoxPVoxD> "Would you accept the indignity of bondage with good humour, William?" 21:29 <tom> "Haven't you ever read Moby Dick, dummy? Every man's a slave." 21:31 <tom> "And also, haha," 21:31 <tom> He lets that just trail off. 21:31 <tom> There's the park! 21:32 <VoxPVoxD> Parsonage Gardens is a small park. There are flower-beds and shade trees, all barren now, and benches to sit on. Several other people have brought their dogs here. 21:33 <tom> Bob will give the other parkgoers some distance out of respect for Kagamenauch's prowess. 21:33 <VoxPVoxD> "Melville's command of human nature is roughly as respectable as his understanding of cetacean biology. Freedom is your curse." 21:34 <tom> That said, he'll smack the winch on the harness to let the leash slacken to its maximum distance. 21:35 <tom> "Oh yeah I bet you have all sorts of opinions." 21:35 <tom> "I have some too." 21:35 <tom> He gets another dog treat, seemingly for no reason. 21:36 <tom> "When's her birthday?" 21:36 <VoxPVoxD> Kaga is once again silent whenever normal people are around... but they have a way of not being around long. A child below school age gets a bit away from her mother "Mummy! Look at the big dog!" and moves to rub his face and head with her fat little hands. 21:37 <tom> "Play it cool, Kaga," Bob chuckles, putting his hand on the leash just so. 21:38 <tom> "Hey kid. Be nice, he's a rescue." 21:38 <VoxPVoxD> The mastiff consents to the girlhandling. 21:39 <VoxPVoxD> The girl's mother follows hard upon. "Hannah! Hannah, leave the nice man and his dog alone. So sorry, mister. Come on, baby." 21:39 <tom> "No worries, ma'am. Have a good one." He gets another treat. "The less murder you think about doing the more treats you get." 21:39 <tom> "You can't escape pavlov bro." 21:40 <VoxPVoxD> "You cannot imagine what I am thinking about right now." 21:40 <tom> "Oh I wouldn't be so sure." 21:40 <VoxPVoxD> "Whose birthday?" 21:40 <tom> "You know who." 21:41 <VoxPVoxD> "...May 1st." 21:42 <VoxPVoxD> "Why ask me?" 21:42 <tom> He beams. "I've got time then." 21:42 <tom> "You were here when I thought about it." 21:44 <VoxPVoxD> "Half a mortal year to devise an appropriate punishment." 21:45 <tom> He leads him around the central round of the small garden. He was hoping there'd be like a duck pond... oh well. "A gift, actually. She's been through the wringer." 21:45 <tom> "I heard you guys talked poetry back in the day." 21:46 <VoxPVoxD> Another weird, chuffing maybe-laugh. 21:46 <VoxPVoxD> "Perhaps so. Are you a reader, William?" 21:47 <tom> "Do I look like it?" 21:49 <tom> He's got the poopscoop strapped to his back like a Witcher's sword. 21:49 <VoxPVoxD> "Do I?" 21:52 <VoxPVoxD> Kaga jumps up onto an empty bench and folds his limbs under himself, turning into an enormous black loaf. 21:53 <tom> Bob places a bacon treat before him like an offering, goes to join the demon on the bench. He slumps: "There are definitely dogs better read than me." 21:53 <tom> "I don't really give a shit about poetry, but she does." 21:54 <tom> "So I'm trying to think of something nice. Can you do that? Can I order you to think of something nice?" 21:54 <VoxPVoxD> "I am thinking of something nice right now, in fact." 21:55 <tom> "It's definitely not nice; hit me with it." 21:56 <tom> The thermos is still warm. 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> "Have you seen the way she trembles when she is trying with all her might not to scream or weep?" 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> "I bet you have." 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> "Exquisite." 21:59 <tom> The ODIN's back in the shop, so Bob's scanning the park with naked eyes, which narrow: "That's not nice at all, man." 22:00 <tom> "I wonder if I'm of the same stuff as you." 22:01 <tom> "We both clearly get off on suffering." 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> "No." 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> "Sadism is in the unique gift of humankind." 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> "I just work here." 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> "Is that why you're doing this? To see more suffering?" 22:03 <tom> "You seem to be just, so bummed about it, yeah." 22:04 <tom> "Honestly maybe?" Bob scratches his chin. "You are the wrong person to ask about this, but you know, there's probably kids getting burned with deep fryer oil somewhere right now. I think about that a lot." 22:04 <tom> "I sure as hell aren't in a job that takes you away from that." 22:04 <VoxPVoxD> "And the thought entertains you?" 22:04 <tom> "Not really." 22:05 <tom> "More like, now gumdrops are ruined forever becuase of one conversation." 22:05 <VoxPVoxD> "How did that happen?" 22:07 <tom> He scratches his chin. "Well now every time I go for my favorite candy I gotta think about her and Sergio and her safeword." 22:08 <VoxPVoxD> "You wish it was you." 22:08 <tom> "Haha," 22:09 <VoxPVoxD> "That's why you're here, isn't it?" 22:09 <VoxPVoxD> "You don't need to be shy. True or not, you know everyone is thinking it." 22:10 <tom> Annoyed: "What are you, gay? Obviously." 22:10 <tom> "I'm not about to wild out about it." 22:13 <VoxPVoxD> "You'll just sacrifice hours of your life on immediate notice, to spend time with a monster who hates you, buying treats and toys for which you have no other earthly use. To smell her skin for a moment. To see a smile on a haunted face." 22:13 <VoxPVoxD> "Wild out? Perish the thought." 22:14 <VoxPVoxD> "You are thoroughly domesticated." 22:15 <tom> "Sweet of you to say," he sips the coffee she made for him. 22:16 <tom> "You ready to make a big ole turd in an inconvenient spot to try and punish me for talking to you?" 22:16 <VoxPVoxD> "Your punishment must be more severe." 22:16 <VoxPVoxD> "She likes American poets. Stevens. Jeffers. Crane." 22:17 <VoxPVoxD> "Her favourite is 'Birds and Fishes'." 22:17 <tom> That gets him two dog treats. 22:18 <tom> Bob: "What are you going to do if you ever get free?" 22:20 <VoxPVoxD> "Go home, most likely. But if I am freed to walk the earth... her suffering will be legendary." 22:21 <tom> "You aren't even the toughest dog I beat up this month. Looking forward to seeing you try." 22:21 <tom> Within a month. Shut up. 22:21 <VoxPVoxD> Kagamenauch: "I have arts well in excess of whatever farm animal you abused, William." 22:21 <tom> He checks the time. 22:22 <VoxPVoxD> It's been an hour or so. 22:22 <VoxPVoxD> But the dog gets up. 22:22 <tom> "How the fuck does she put up with you for the other twenty-two hours?" 22:22 <tom> He does too, then. "Alright dude, here's the deal." 22:22 <tom> "Stay." 22:23 <VoxPVoxD> Kaga stays. 22:23 <tom> He unbuckles the harness leash, reaches into his jacket... and produces a frisbee. 22:23 <VoxPVoxD> "Don't." 22:23 <tom> "Fetch!" 22:23 <tom> He needs his exercise. 22:23 <VoxPVoxD> "You bottom-trawling—" But as soon as Bob throws it, he's off. 22:24 <Crion> By the time you're done here, Kagamenauch, you'll beg to try to make Aster angry for three hours. 22:25 <tom> No ODIN, so he has to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone to use the trackcheck. 22:26 <VoxPVoxD> The dog runs after the disc, scattering a flock of screaming crows roosting in a leafless elm with his presence. He looks down at it in the brown grass, contemplatively. 22:26 <tom> "If you think this sucks just wait until we have you biting vampires all night." 22:26 <tom> He'll start to walk out that way toward the 'dog'. 22:27 <banana> Kagemenauch the Flayed, of the Fifth Circle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jVECp5Dzp4 22:27 <banana> The OCR is taking a little while. 22:28 <tom> "Oh man, you totally would kill us all just 'cus it'd make her a little more sad." 22:28 <VoxPVoxD> Kaga, with great reluctance, picks the frisbee up and meets Bob halfway. He doesn't speak until Bob takes it from his mouth. 22:29 <tom> He does. He's scoping out the next place to toss it. 22:29 <tom> "You know most dogs would just be having such a good time doing this." 22:30 <banana> Bob's visor pings three times. 22:30 <banana> “> Error: near line 1: unrecognized token: "'"” 22:30 <banana> “> Error: near line 1: no such angel: 🝳” 22:30 <banana> “> ” 22:30 <tom> ...Now that... that is interesting. 22:31 <tom> It's not his visor, unless it's also pinging back in the repair bay next to their spooky sword collection. He puts his phone away. 22:31 <VoxPVoxD> "Killing you is wasteful. Your suffering would redound on her a hundredfold if she had to look you in the eye and know she was to blame." 22:32 <VoxPVoxD> "Your sword arts are a miser's tool, killer." 22:32 <tom> "My sword arts are fucking sick and you will be blown the fuck away if you ever get to see what I'm really about." 22:33 <VoxPVoxD> "You think simple murder earns you pride of place in Hell? Arrogance. Ignorance. Indulgence." 22:33 <VoxPVoxD> "You are one of God's soldiers." 22:33 <VoxPVoxD> "You are one of God's soldiers." 22:33 <tom> "Man, fuck that guy. You don't know what you're talking about." 22:34 <VoxPVoxD> "Where do murderers go, man! Who's to doom, when the judge himself is dragged to the bar?" 22:34 <VoxPVoxD> "Haven't you ever read Moby Dick?" 22:34 <VoxPVoxD> "Dummy?" 22:36 <tom> He seethes enough that he has to throw the frisbee to get some breathing room to come up with something halfway clever before he can respond again. He jogs over to the dog, who he doesn't seem to actually expect to retrieve anything. 22:36 <VoxPVoxD> Again, the demon meets him halfway. "Are you somehow unfamiliar with the rules of fetch?" 22:37 <tom> "I was actually kind of hoping you'd like doing dog stuff." 22:37 <tom> "Is there something not making-my-friend-suffer-related that you like doing?" 22:38 <VoxPVoxD> "Do you have someone else I can make suffer?" 22:38 <tom> "How about her boyfriend's shitty boss?" 22:41 <VoxPVoxD> "In six turns of the moon I will re-form in Hell. Where will she be by then, do you think? On her birthday? What kind of gift will you have prepared?" 22:42 <tom> "If I'm not a corpse buried in concrete by then, probably something by, fuck, hold on- what was that poem called again. I am ordering you to remind me, bee tee dubs." He's fumbling with a pen and notepad. 22:43 <tom> "Something in gold leaf. Maybe get a custom job on that one." 22:44 <tom> He finally admits his cuckedom and puts away the frisbee. At least he seems to like the bacon? 22:44 <VoxPVoxD> "Birds and Fishes. Robinson Jeffers." 22:45 <tom> "Thanks man." 22:45 <VoxPVoxD> "I am thinking about hurting you." 22:45 <VoxPVoxD> "I hope you find my candour disarming and comforting." 22:46 <tom> "I do! It's honestly a nice change of pace from dealing with her vampires." 22:46 <VoxPVoxD> "So I hear." 22:47 <tom> "Oh man, have you already got her to tell you her worst fears? She really must be slipping." 22:47 <VoxPVoxD> "She is so desperate to be listened to." 22:47 <VoxPVoxD> "She exceeds even you in patheticness." 22:48 <VoxPVoxD> "Would you like to hear a secret, William Goreman, Soldier of God?" 22:48 <tom> "You don't have even the barest idea how much more pathetic I can be." 22:48 <tom> "Always and forever." 22:48 <VoxPVoxD> "Lean in close. I won't bite." 22:48 <tom> Bob goes fucking eyeball to eyeball with the great fluffy mastiff. 22:49 <VoxPVoxD> The dog's gravelly voice falls beneath a whisper. 22:49 <VoxPVoxD> "She wishes it was you too." 22:49 <VoxPVoxD> Bob's phone beeps. 22:50 <tom> Bob doesn't actually strike the dog, because he's too busy re-attaching the leash and yanking him back with a snarl. 22:51 <tom> He checks his phone. 22:51 <tom> His fingers are, uh, not quite swiping right. What's with this fucking sensor? 22:51 <tom> He rubs his hands together to get some warmth. 22:52 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: <all done! bring him back at your leisure. i've prepared some Warming Treats for you both> 22:52 <tom> "And that's that. You can stop pretending to be nice to me now." He dumps out the rest of the bacon treats. 22:52 <tom> "Let's go home, boy." 22:53 <VoxPVoxD> Kagamenauch eats greedily. 22:53 <VoxPVoxD> He follows in silence.