13:24 <VoxPVoxD> Willie enters the greybox with a shopping bag full of lidded plastic containers, obscured behind sunglasses, scarf, and earpods. Whoever lets her in gets a show-stopping smile. Who did let her in? 13:27 <tom> Bob's got the safety screens around the workstation down, so Willie can see him turning back from the bank of cameras after punching in the code. She'll get a vague nod as he turns back to his work. 13:28 <tom> There's a new archipelago of bandages all up the inside of his arm, on a sea of medium-rare skin. 13:29 <VoxPVoxD> "Robert," she says playfully. "I come bearing soups. How goes the--" Sunglasses come down. "What happened??" 13:30 <tom> "Soup? What kind?" He turns, instantly alert. "Shit man, I skipped lunch again." 13:30 <tom> "Huoh." 13:31 <tom> "Hah. No, no, everything- it's not battle damage." 13:31 <tom> He winces. "Would you believe it's cooking oil?" 13:32 <VoxPVoxD> The soups are labeled. There's chicken, lentil, mushroom, and leek/potato. 13:32 <VoxPVoxD> "Did you deep fry your hands??" 13:32 <tom> He'll grab the one with meat in it. 13:32 <VoxPVoxD> Haldane will appreciate his consideration. 13:32 <tom> "Just a light broiling." 13:32 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "That's not what broiling means." 13:33 <VoxPVoxD> She walks over to Bob to get a better look at the damage. "What were you trying to make?" 13:34 <tom> "I don't care!" He beams. "Got a friend who is really into this fried dough stuff, can't get the name right. Je- Jalebi? Or something?" 13:34 <tom> "You gotta like funnel strips in little squiggles." 13:35 <tom> "It's that or, like, turkish delight, and even I won't make people eat that." 13:36 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I love turkish delight!" 13:36 <tom> Bob: "Of course, it's wonderful." 13:37 <tom> "I'm trying something new though so yeah, I mean, you know, accidents happen." 13:37 <VoxPVoxD> She shakes her head. "You got water in the oil when it was hot. That's how you get spatters like this." 13:38 <VoxPVoxD> "The batter was too wet, or something." 13:38 <VoxPVoxD> "Was that your first time making jalebi? It's an awful lot of work and mess for a novice cook." 13:39 <tom> Bob hums to himself. "Right, right. Water boils off into steam and the expansion shoots grease everywhere." 13:40 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "That's right. The same thermodynamics apply inside bullets and cookpots. Newton's mercury-stained fingerprints are everywhere." 13:40 <tom> "Real simple physics." 13:40 <tom> Willie gets the idea he isn't talking about cooking. 13:41 <tom> "Hmmm. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it can't be that hard right. Just chemistry.." 13:41 <tom> "Mess I can deal with as long as I get the results." 13:41 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "There are a lot of variables. Batter composition, batter consistency, oil temperature, size of your piping tip... how were the results?" 13:42 <tom> "Well, it all flattened out into a pancake instead of the nice little squiggle-circles I was goin' for." 13:43 <tom> "So I guess the batter was too thin.. from too much water." 13:43 <tom> "Which explains the other thing I guess?" 13:43 <VoxPVoxD> "Did your friend like them?" 13:44 <tom> "Hh? Nuh uh, I'm playing it real safe, nobody's trying it until I'm sure I can get it right." 13:45 <tom> "She's coming over later." 13:45 <tom> "Besides I mean, it still tastes fine, I just can't get the shape right." 13:46 <tom> He's fiddling with some sort of combination lightbulb/battery/arduino receiver while he talks. 13:46 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "The shape is the whole point of jalebi! They're supposed to be these crispy little spirals full of scented syrup and... how badly do you want to get this right?" 13:46 <tom> With an almost pained sincerity: "Very badly." 13:47 <VoxPVoxD> Willie takes Bob firmly by the shoulders. "I insist you let me help you." 13:48 <tom> "Yes ma'am." 13:48 <tom> He kinda recoils a bit. 13:48 <tom> Pauses, corrects. 13:48 <tom> "Yeah, no-n that sounds, kinda nice actually." 13:49 <VoxPVoxD> Willie squeezes his shoulders and then lets go. "Right. So, are you doing a traditional recipe or a quick one?" 13:49 <tom> "It's just all my stuff, all the, fucking, I don't even know what ghee is, it's back at the flat. I'm not sure if it's a great idea.." 13:49 <tom> "Quick one, maybe a bad idea? I just wanted to get, y'know," He gestures with both hands. "Jalebi!" 13:49 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Ghee is clarified butter. Just the oil, not the milk solids." 13:50 <tom> "You won't like, tell Rolf where I live, right.." 13:52 <VoxPVoxD> She sighs. "Right. Then it shouldn't take long to prepare a batch. I can..." She's got such a head of steam going she only belatedly realises that Bob still intends to make them himself. "Oh! Well, I wouldn't dream of— are you sure? I know you value keeping your home life separate from your work life." A pause. "As best you can." 13:52 <tom> Dismayed: "You know, I'm not sure about a lot of things these days, but I'm still doin' em." 13:53 <tom> He brightens up, though. "That's just being in your thirties, I think." 13:53 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Your boundaries are important. I can whip some up at home and give you..." 13:53 <tom> That is a bridge too far. He raises a palm. "That's cheating, though." 13:53 <VoxPVoxD> Bob's resignation, or the thought of being in your thirties, seems to take the wind out of Willie's sails a bit. 13:54 <VoxPVoxD> "Alright." 13:54 <VoxPVoxD> "Well... if that is your wish, then I am at your disposal. You built me a shotgun. This is the very least I can do." 13:54 <tom> "Just, pretend I gave you the whole black-bag and driving for hours around rural roads before we arrive routine." 13:54 <tom> "I'm too lazy to do it for real." 13:54 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Have you run this by... your flatmate?" 13:55 <tom> "Of course," 13:57 <tom> "I mean, I can call ahead." 13:57 <tom> "I mean shut up." 13:57 <VoxPVoxD> Willie's nostrils flare. "Listen: if you want me to teach you to cook, nothing would make me happier. But I don't want to be the reason your girlfriend is angry at you. And I especially don't want her to be angry at me." 13:58 <VoxPVoxD> "That would make me angry." 13:58 <VoxPVoxD> "And not at her." 14:00 <tom> Bob pales. "Yeah, yeah, let me just, check something real quick." 14:00 <tom> Bob fucks around with his phone. 14:01 <tom> "Yeah, she says it's fine. They're back to in-person classes some ah the time." 14:02 <VoxPVoxD> Willie beams again. "Great. I'll go pick up some things from home. Meet me in front in about fifteen minutes." 14:02 <VoxPVoxD> Already walking away: "Fridge those soups for me, would you? Ta." 14:03 <tom> "You aren't even making me take the bus?" He laughs. 14:03 <tom> He does so. 14:04 <VoxPVoxD> Willie's tidy old green car is idling in front a bit later. She turns the music down low ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHuBW3qKm9g ) as she gets directions from Bob. Where are they going? What's there? 14:07 <tom> It's in Eccles. The place is, to Bob at least, a weird mix of familiar strip malls and clusters of truly ancient red and grey brick structures with tidy looking steepled roofing. Bob will point out a taqueria, which is stupid, because it's clearly an empanada place. After being corrected, he'll guide her to a free spot of street parking and usher her toward a large wrought iron gate that 14:07 <tom> leads down a short flight of stairs. 14:07 <tom> "That was just good luck. I had no idea when I moved in-" 14:09 <tom> The back patio is pretty gloomy this time of year, surrounded on all sides by ivy-overgrown brick buildings. Willie will note a friendly-looking garden gnome neatly cemented into a patch of flowers next to the door of his flat. 14:10 <tom> Then he flips a switch, the lights come on, and it's perfectly cozy. 14:10 <VoxPVoxD> Bob practically lives in a hole in the ground. Willie's heart aches. Surely they can afford to move now. At least it's a comfortable hole. 14:11 <tom> If she's wearing a coat, he'll gesture to a small closet by the door, where a number of hangers dangle over what appears to be a partially disassembled, matte-black model aircraft. Its wings around bound in rubber bands at its side, made of some kind of styrofoam. 14:12 <VoxPVoxD> Willie's wearing a coat, because it's almost November in Manchester. "Is that a real plane? Did you train mice to fly it?" 14:12 <tom> Other than that, the whole place is surprisingly mundane. 14:12 <tom> There aren't even any guns lying around. What the fuck. 14:13 <VoxPVoxD> Obviously there aren't. No sane person would leave guns lying around. 14:13 <tom> "Yeah, they trained a chimp to do it." He grins, pointing his thumbs at his chest. "Don't laugh, okay. Unlike somepeople, I don't get any magic powers." 14:13 <VoxPVoxD> She's very curious to meet Mari. What sort of woman meets Bob and is like, 'I want to break me off a piece of that'? 14:14 <tom> "So if I want to be clairvoyant I have to have a 60 gigahertz carrier wave." He gestures at an oversized controller tied up in a bundle next to the drone. 14:14 <VoxPVoxD> "Oh!! It's a drone." 14:14 <VoxPVoxD> "How very tactical." 14:15 <tom> "Look," he sighs. "If it looks stupid, and it works, it isn't stupid. Trust me, it's my whole life philosophy." 14:15 <VoxPVoxD> What sort of hunted creature can find comfort in a hunter's arms? Just things Willie thinks about, for purely abstract intellectual reasons. "Mr. Goreman, I have the utmost faith in your ability to find the thing that works despite looking stupid." 14:16 <VoxPVoxD> "Now, let's see the kitchen." 14:16 <VoxPVoxD> She's got a sort of bulky satchel with her. 14:16 <tom> I wonder what it's like to get to carry those wherever you want. Bob turns on the light into the kitchen and frowns balefully at a cobweb in the corner before directing her to place the bag on the island. 14:17 <tom> "Thanks, again. It's really hard to live like a real person again." 14:17 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I know." 14:17 <VoxPVoxD> She opens the bag and comes out with... a wok? 14:18 <VoxPVoxD> "Right. I assume you've still got flour, oil, bicarbonate, yoghurt, sugar, et cetera." 14:19 <tom> "Yeah, I got enough for three attempts, I think." 14:19 <tom> "So we're still sitting pretty." 14:19 <tom> "I am prepared to burn the fuck out of myself." 14:19 <tom> He's pulling down a big-ass bag of sugar off the top of the fridge. 14:20 <VoxPVoxD> Willie tests the burner to see how big the flame gets. She's really tempted to test it by just slapping her hand down on it. But that's the wrong vibe. Bob's under enough strain without needing to get the bingo card out. 14:20 <tom> It takes him a little bit longer to find the baking soda, buried back in the cabinet. 14:21 <tom> "Will just any flour work? I saw some recipes with like, fucking, weird grains they don't make in America." 14:21 <tom> "But I got the basic flour." 14:22 <tom> "I was going off a youtube recipe, but I got distracted and bumped the handle on the pan." 14:22 <tom> "So, don't do that." 14:24 <tom> It's not a big kitchen, but there's certainly enough space for two people to work. He'll let Willie take up as much space as she needs to set up, and sorta shies off to the side until it's clear he's needed. 14:25 <tom> With a little more patient observation, she might notice that Bob is very intentionally never positioning himself between her and the door. 14:25 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "The best would be a very finely milled cake flour, but plain flour will do in a pinch. We'll also want some corn flour, which I brought. Do you have a kitchen scale?" 14:25 <VoxPVoxD> "It's fine if not. I brought one." 14:25 <tom> "No, shit, I got the money, I should just amazon one." 14:26 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I have a rule: no volumetric measurements in the kitchen. Not for baking, not for entrees, not for coffee, not for cocktails. After a sharp knife, a good point-one-gram electric scale is my most prized tool." 14:27 <VoxPVoxD> "Mass is king." 14:27 <tom> "All the recipes were in like, cups-" 14:28 <VoxPVoxD> Willie nods sympathetically. "And what's a cup of flour? Could be 120g. Could be 150g. You don't know! And that's more than enough difference to completely distort a recipe." 14:28 <tom> Bob, safely: "My whole life is a lie." 14:30 <VoxPVoxD> "Water you can basically get away with, if you must, because the sane world organised its system of measurements around the volume and mass of water being simpatico. A gram of water is, within tolerances, a millilitre of water anywhere near normal height and weather conditions. And even for the old units, there's a saying: a pint's a pound the world around." 14:30 <tom> Okay, so.. Bob will take the bag of flour and try his level best not to cover himself with the stuff as Willie directs him to pour out the demanded amount. 14:31 <tom> "Would it be different if we were making Je- Jalebi- fuck!" He winces: "...in the Andes?" 14:32 <tom> "How about on the international space station?" 14:33 <tom> Absolute fucking dog brain. 14:33 <VoxPVoxD> She's got Bob's mixing bowl on the scale, and directs him, explaining what each ingredient is for as it goes in. The flour is for body, the bicarbonate is for texture, the ghee and yoghurt are for flavour. "The lower the pressure, the lower the boiling point. It throws off a lot of recipes if you try to follow the same directions in Kent as in Davos." 14:34 <tom> "Wild." 14:35 <tom> Bob heats up some oil in a pan and watches it warily. 14:35 <tom> If nothing else, he will insist on getting to cut out a little wedge at the tip of the bag full of batter and make the little spirals. That's the funnest part! 14:38 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Just a touch of saffron for colour... good. We'll do the syrup on the other burner. Equal parts sugar and water until it dissolves and thickens just a touch, with cardamom and orange blossom water for aroma." These ingredients all come out of tiny, very expensive-looking glass vials. Willie literally adds the delicate golden threads of saffron with tweezers. But they do make 14:38 <VoxPVoxD> the batter a very pretty color. 14:38 <VoxPVoxD> "Okay, oil's up to temp. You ready to fry?" 14:38 <tom> "Oh, I got rosewater also." 14:38 <VoxPVoxD> "Perfect!" 14:38 <tom> "I have no idea what it is. I assume it is rose water. But it sounds pretty." 14:39 <tom> He nods as bravely as he can. 14:39 <VoxPVoxD> "It's just roses and water, unless you've been hoodwinked or making perfume." 14:41 <tom> Bob snips the tip of the bag and squeezes just so. It's looking good, looking good- ah, fuck. 14:41 <tom> What the hell? 14:41 <tom> For some reason his hands just wont.. stay... still. 14:42 <tom> The neat spirals turn into demented joker squiggles. 14:42 <tom> What's worse, the more Willie seems to pay attention to it, the worse they get. 14:42 <tom> Finally as she starts to turn toward him he just sheepishly hands her the bag. 14:43 <VoxPVoxD> Willie's just over his shoulder, watching intently. She's not making a sound! So there's just the weight of her presence, the heat of her breath and body... 14:43 <tom> "You're turn," he mumbles. 14:43 <tom> Your 14:43 <VoxPVoxD> Willie shakes her head. "No no no. Look, taste this. See? It's delicious. You just need steadier hands." 14:43 <tom> "Really, that never happens," 14:46 <VoxPVoxD> "Just imagine you're cleaning a gun barrel, or gently rotating a joystick. Imagine you've done it a hundred thousand times, and you're on autopilot. Your brain doesn't even need to know what's going on." 14:47 <VoxPVoxD> "You know what to do. Your hands know what to do. You just have to relax and let yourself work." 14:47 <tom> Bob holds his breath and pulls the trigger. 14:48 <tom> The batter falls in a neat little line into the oil, and he cranes the bag overhead, minding the spitting grease. 14:48 <tom> He'll nod for Willie to retrieve the one beautiful, perfect spiral and dunk it in the syrup. 14:49 <VoxPVoxD> Slowly, soothingly: "Easy. Constant pressure. Constant motion. Nice tight spirals." 14:49 <VoxPVoxD> "Gorgeous." 14:49 <tom> It's no trouble after that. 14:49 <VoxPVoxD> They need to sit in the syrup for a couple of minutes; enough to soak it up but not enough to get soggy. 14:51 <tom> Bob almost weeps at the sight of the beautiful little pile of semi-translucent golden spirals drying out on the tray. "That's perfect, yeah. Just need, what, pistachios?" He goes for a bag. 14:52 <tom> Wow. "Wow, that's just what I was looking for. Incredible. You really saved my ass." 14:52 <VoxPVoxD> While Bob is working, Willie's got a pot of condensed milk turning colour, and she lays out a vacuum-sealed bag of pistachios. "Chop these up and top the milk mixture with them - that's rabri - but only when you're ready to serve. This will all fridge well enough for several days. They'll taste even better tomorrow." 14:52 <tom> He sits down at the table and just sorta slouches as the stress sloughs off. "Yeah. Yeah! Actually," 14:53 <tom> "Scheduling's tough with Mari's friends, but, if you want, they'll want to meet the person who salvaged this." 14:53 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "You salvaged this." 14:54 <VoxPVoxD> "I don't want you foisting all the credit for your hard work on your imaginary friend Willie." 14:54 <tom> "If you say so," he chuckles. "No, really, I think.. I think Sumi will like you." 14:54 <VoxPVoxD> "Sumi?" 14:55 <tom> He's nodding. "Yeah, yeah, she's from India I think?" A rocket-launcher toting wizard who lives in a mine field told me. 14:55 <tom> "I'm trying to make a good impression," he shrugs. "You know, Aster's out there meeting vampires, working the problem." 14:55 <VoxPVoxD> "Is she sidhe?" 14:56 <tom> He squints hard behind his stupid sunglasses. "I can neither confirm nor deny their business." 14:56 <tom> That's really an answer in itself, isn't it? 14:57 <tom> "...But I'd rather you be their first impression." 14:58 <tom> "I'll let 'em know you're coming?" 14:58 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Well, as I said, I don't want to intrude where I'm unwelcome, among people whose trust I haven't earned. But if you're sure it won't be a problem... I am very curious to see how they get along with you. Given the nature of our work, the prospect of socialising with the night-city is... almost inevitable, I should think." 14:58 <tom> "They're really nice... they just scare easy." 14:58 <VoxPVoxD> "Yes. Yes I think I'd like that very much. What should I bring?" 14:58 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Then it's a good thing I have never frightened anyone." 14:59 <tom> "Aw, nah, I got it from here," he chuckles, maybe a little too long, looks away, swallows hard. 15:00 <VoxPVoxD> Dismal neighborhood aside, Bob seems to have a nice little life here. Something sustainable. 15:00 <VoxPVoxD> She hopes.