17:09 <VoxPVoxD> It's called The Hip Hop Chip Shop. That's not enough to dissuade Willie; it's the closest thing to the Greybox that's open past cafe hours. She's got the big folder, and the standard cod and chips and mushy peas order, which is on the menu as, alas, The Feastie Boys. 17:09 <VoxPVoxD> What's on Bob's plate? 17:14 <tom> A gherkin is like a pickle, right? Something like that? He ends up with some sort of ungodly pig-in-the-blanket sausage wrapped in bacon and dunked in batter, and one of those fried pickles. 17:15 <tom> He pokes the food warily with the pointed end of the sandwich toothpick the thing came skewered on. 17:16 <tom> "Just needed to get outta the box for a minute, you know, I've been real busy with the armory an' all... gets claustrophobic." 17:17 <VoxPVoxD> "I get cabin fever if I'm there for 2 hours without fresh air. I don't know how you or Richard do it." Gherkins are a kind of little cucumber that's commonly pickled. Willie couldn't tell you if it's the same sort of little cucumber they pickle in America, but how many kinds of little cucumbers can there be, and how different can they be, really? "So, first off, this is a lot of information. 17:17 <VoxPVoxD> A lot, a lot. I'm going to need to go over this again. But at a first pass? Very useful." 17:17 <VoxPVoxD> "How did you get it?" 17:18 <tom> He winces behind his shades. "You're not gonna like it." 17:20 <tom> Bitterly: "Can't believe this place doesn't have fried clams." 17:20 <tom> He chews on a gherkin. 17:21 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Clams are like mackerel. We catch them here, but we don't eat them. Almost all the seafood we eat is imported even though fishing is one of our biggest industries." 17:22 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I promise I won't get mad at you, if you take the shades off." 17:22 <VoxPVoxD> "I feel like I'm illegally meeting a foreign agent." 17:24 <tom> He twitches nervously, sucking in air as he looks around the chip shop. ”...Fuck it, they barely did any good anyhow.” He folds the visor back onto the table and regards Willie with bleary, reddened eyes. 17:26 <tom> “So like,” 17:26 <tom> He rolls his shoulders. ”Eh... it’s like, you know how they make cops get pepper sprayed for training, I guess..” 17:28 <VoxPVoxD> Cautiously: "What did they do to you?" 17:30 <tom> Bob slumps into the lounge seat and shrugs weakly. ”I got some whack-ass false memories, two hours of missing time, and a pair of missing twenty-two stingers from my gun. So I guess I’m comp’d.” 17:33 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "But they didn't hurt you, or make you hurt yourself? You're not down blood, you didn't get-- you know." Willie has a set of specific associations with the idea of hearing a friend wakes up with hours of lost time that might be more relevant to party girls than soldiers and spies. They might not, though. 17:35 <tom> “No ma’am,” Bob dunks a flake of fish in tartar sauce and snarfs it down, shaking his head. ”I mean, this is, ah.... this is a sugarcoat yeah? But it feels like with these people, y’know...” He raises his hand to his side, pointing the palm flat. ”You must be this willing to get fucked with to ride this attraction.” 17:36 <tom> “That sorta deal. Like how they made us chase teens around a graveyard.” 17:37 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "They're not that different from the bluebloods in that way. The nattering about prey or not-prey or whatever. It's about play. These are phenomenally bored people." 17:39 <tom> He pops the tab on his coke with a hiss, guzzles. ”Gh. They’ve got an office in the basement of a game shop in Gay Village.” 17:40 <tom> “How could anyone call them bored?” 17:40 <VoxPVoxD> "Strategos! I've seen that. If I made different friends I'd probably go there sometimes." 17:41 <VoxPVoxD> "One of my night-colleagues brought me to Friday Night Magic once." 17:41 <tom> “I’d say to give it some distance for now; it’s where Damani’s holed up and I don’t wanna be there when Ruth shows up.” 17:41 <tom> He purses his lips. ”Hope Letitia ain’t there either.” 17:42 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "You know, that's good news! Not because of the captured criminal or the lingering air of menace. But! But!" 17:42 <VoxPVoxD> "You've got a replacement for Agatha at your dream board game night." 17:45 <tom> Bob rubs the back of his neck and glances away awkwardly. 17:45 <tom> “Honestly I think it might be smart to can the vampire game night until we’re sure nobody’s getting they throat slashed out. Which may never come.” 17:47 <tom> “Hey could you do me a favor and not tell everyone I got brainfucked again? That shit’s a drag and I’m pretty sure Aster hasn’t already taloned me into a vegetable is ‘cus he needs a meat shield.” 17:47 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "People are going to ask how you got it. That was the first thing I asked, and they're all smarter than I am." 17:49 <tom> His shoulders rise and fall. ”You don’t have to show it to ‘em yet.” 17:49 <tom> “I didn’t get it for the others.” 17:51 <VoxPVoxD> Willie makes a face. She hates keeping secrets, and she hates lying to people. "I appreciate the effort and the risk you went to, and I don't want to make things harder for you. Certainly we can wait until after the job, which means we can wait until after the holiday. But whatever its provenance, and whatever your intent... you obviously agree the team should know this all." 17:52 <VoxPVoxD> "If it weren't for what you had to go through to get it, if it was just dropped in your lap, you'd show it to the team, yeah? Or you'd agree that I ought to." 17:53 <tom> “Yeah. Just don’t wanna get yelled at again. Weak shit, yeah.” 17:55 <tom> He finishes the fish and sausages, just picking at the remains of the potatoes. ”If it were Valkyrie I’d be looking at a Court Martial, probably multiple counts. And the whole team could be at risk over what Clive put in my brain that I might not know about.” 17:57 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I can take responsibility. It was my exposure that motivated you to put yourself at risk. It's my continued entanglement that compels you, in part, to pursue legal protections through the WASC. I can at the very least be the one they yell at." 17:57 <VoxPVoxD> "I just don't want to lie to the team. That kind of deception and backroom dealing is corrosive." 17:58 <tom> “You gotta let me take the fall for this one. You used that one up after Inchcape,” he chuckles, dabbing fries in ketchup. ”I’ll take it like a champ, just leave it until after we finish the Reveille job. Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky and just fucking die.” 17:59 <tom> “If I don’t, then, yeah, it’s time to do their dumb paperwork and at least make them have to file some forms before they can scramble me again.” 18:01 <VoxPVoxD> "Alright. After the break, then, we can get stuck in. Thank you for this. It is a legitimate lifesaver." She drags a vinegary chip through a mass of pea. This is somehow good. "How are you doing?" 18:01 <VoxPVoxD> "Alright. After the break, then, we can get stuck in. Thank you for this. It is a legitimate lifesaver." She drags a vinegary chip through a mass of pea. This is somehow good. "How are you doing?" 18:03 <tom> He kinda boggles at her food for a moment. 18:03 <tom> “You know, I’m yeah, uh. Um.” 18:04 <tom> “Normal.” 18:04 <VoxPVoxD> Willie gives Bob a long look. 18:09 <tom> The visor would be flashing a warning, he’s sure of it. 18:09 <VoxPVoxD> Finally, she says: "Normal's a moving target, anyway." 18:10 <VoxPVoxD> "Do you want me to bring you back anything?" 18:11 <tom> “Wait,” he mutters. ”I wanna talk about it, I just... god, what am I gonna do?” 18:11 <tom> “The more I fight to keep it together, the more shit just falls apart around me.” 18:14 <VoxPVoxD> Willie looks a bit relieved; in retrospect it was clearly a bit of a deliberate effort not to demand Bob talk about it. "I think..." a small sigh. "I think you have to be honest with yourself about what you want. Often we can't have all the things we want. Sometimes the things we want are mutually exclusive." 18:14 <VoxPVoxD> "And in those situations it's very easy not to be honest with ourselves." 18:15 <VoxPVoxD> "It's like trying to push matching poles of a magnet together. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a law of physics." 18:15 <VoxPVoxD> No wizards pop up to offer their opinions on the difference here, thankfully. 18:16 <tom> “I’m so fucked up.” 18:16 <tom> Bob: ”There’s no coming back from being Bill Goreman, I guess. That shit doesn’t wash off.” 18:18 <tom> “Anyway, that’s enough fuckin’ self-pity. Christ, how do you stand it?” 18:18 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "But you weren't always Bill Goreman, either. Not the way you mean it. Something terrible happened and it broke you. A bit. You didn't start in pieces." 18:18 <VoxPVoxD> "Stand what?" 18:20 <tom> “’Boohoo I’m the world’s biggest piece of shit, blah blah- oh noo, I have things so bad-’” he sneers at his reflection in the chip shop window. ”And I’m still doing it, haha.” 18:20 <tom> “Augh, can we pay up? I wanna smoke.” 18:20 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Sure, let's walk back." 18:21 <tom> It’s not enough money to fight Willie over it if she insists on paying, but he will put up a token protest regardless. 18:22 <VoxPVoxD> Willie is happy to let Bob pay if he volunteers. That is not a way in which she is prideful. 18:22 <VoxPVoxD> She does light his cigarette, though, with a glance. 18:24 <tom> Then Bob pays and steps out into the sleet in his heavy jacket. He does decline the light though, drawing a disposable lighter and catching the tip of his cigarette. ”You’re getting real good at that trick.” 18:24 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "It's not all weird questions and public humiliation. The Dragons really do get results." 18:25 <tom> “If you think Fortunato is- well, if you have time to do anything, you should put yourself on fire.” 18:25 <tom> “That’s all I got. Keep him as far away as possible.” He sighs. ”Like you didn’t already know.” 18:25 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "People don't naturally stay on fire without an accelerant. They just sort of cook, normally. So I'd need to also covered in emergency petrol or something." 18:25 <VoxPVoxD> "Oil up before going out." 18:28 <tom> He almost spits out his cigarette, hacking out a laugh. ”Holy shit. You could make that a trend.” 18:28 <tom> “Tiktok douse yourself in benzine challenge.” 18:28 <tom> “God, you could bring this country to its knees.” 18:28 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Do you think we could trick Fortunato into it?" 18:28 <tom> “From what Letitia said it wouldn’t be hard. Guy’s dumb as mud and twice as thick.” 18:29 <tom> “It looks like Seele got him to wipe out like a full three-quarters of his followers.” 18:29 <tom> “Shit, maybe more. It was bad.” 18:30 <VoxPVoxD> "Good for her." He's pretty slender, actually, "Let me ask you something. If I was here, distraught about Fortunato instead of making jokes, would you be like, 'oh boo hoo you, oh noo,' et cetera?" 18:32 <tom> “What, at you? No way, uh uh. Never.” 18:32 <tom> Bob steadies his cigarette with his hand and inhales before saying more: ”I’m a dumb piece of shit because I’m sad I don’t have a hot psycho gunning for me.” 18:33 <VoxPVoxD> Yeah, that's an easy one. "What about, Paul Z? Or Hatch Starling? Or Liam?" 18:34 <tom> “I’m not gonna fuck Paul just cus he’s got a rocket launcher. He has to buy me dinner first.” 18:37 <tom> He thinks on it. ”I don’t get it. I mean, if they’re in danger it’s like... that’s real. All my shit’s self-inflicted.” 18:38 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Right. In fact the only person whose struggle seems as pathetic to you as your own is Mari." 18:40 <tom> “I don’t even know what shit seems like anymore. I’m just scared I’m fucking up someone who loves me.” 18:41 <tom> “We haven’t really seen much of each other since her new work study started and... fuck, do we gotta get too into it? I’m just gonna fuck things up worse.” 18:42 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I think insofar as you do that, it's by hurting yourself and denying yourself the chance to heal. By making the people who love you watch you suffer unreachably." 18:43 <VoxPVoxD> "This is not a cruelty you visit on anyone but yourself. It is the polar opposite of the gentleness I have seen from you in those moments." 18:43 <VoxPVoxD> "Why?" 18:43 <VoxPVoxD> "What makes you so special?" 18:46 <tom> The cherry of the shrinking cigarette blooms in the dark between streetlights. ”Hear me out. You know why I don’t like Rolfie?” 18:46 <VoxPVoxD> Willie could volunteer eight or ten reasons, but instead she asks, "Why?" 18:46 <tom> “He’s... I don’t know if he’s happy. But he’s got a life, and he seems to like it.” 18:47 <tom> “He’s fuckin’, he’s me, dog! He’s me if I never gave a shit. And he like it!” 18:47 <tom> “The only thing I got is the anger.” 18:47 <VoxPVoxD> Willie's silent for a time. 18:48 <VoxPVoxD> She lights another cigarette. 18:48 <tom> “That’s.. that’s all I am.” 18:50 <tom> “About a hundred, or a hundred and twenty-six.” The number’s gone up since Hyperclasm clocked it. Aliens count. ”What difference does it make? And where’m I? Boohooing because I got a girl that loves me.” 18:50 <tom> “Descusting.” 18:53 <VoxPVoxD> Willie contemplates the end of her cigarette a bit. "But you're not having it out with Rolf. You're punishing yourself. That's like-- you read those stories of American policemen going out for a call and all they do is shoot the dog." 18:53 <tom> He cocks his head. ”I need a meat-shield.” 18:54 <tom> Bob: ”Lycanthropes are extinct anyway. I ain’t shooting anybody’s dog.” 18:56 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "See, I look at you, and I don't think about Rolf. I think about Aaron." 18:57 <VoxPVoxD> "I'll explain." 18:58 <tom> He walks in silence, scanning the shadowed alleyways with his visor as she talks. 18:59 <VoxPVoxD> "When I feel you look at me, I feel like you see a damsel. A scary damsel, certainly. A capable damsel, I hope. But a damsel. A lady who compels a knight's service just by the grace of her presence, and the rough world she finds herself in." 19:00 <VoxPVoxD> "With Aaron, I feel... graduation photographs. Candids from a birthday party. The Facebook profile photo." 19:00 <VoxPVoxD> "The photographs you see in the news of a woman who's just disappeared without a trace." 19:00 <VoxPVoxD> "As contrasted with whatever pale remainder he just zipped into a bag." 19:02 <VoxPVoxD> "And like Rolf, he put years into that. Not as many years, sure, but a lot of years. A lot of zipped-up bags. A lot of file photos with pretty smiles." 19:02 <VoxPVoxD> "And every time, a little piece of him died." 19:02 <tom> “I see the girl I burned to death.” 19:02 <VoxPVoxD> "The one you didn't save." 19:03 <VoxPVoxD> "Her death was an interdepartmental effort. You told me so yourself." 19:04 <tom> He keeps pace, but he sure as hell isn’t looking at her while they walk. ”You know it doesn’t matter.” 19:04 <tom> “So maybe I’ve got more in common with the detective than I thought. So what?” 19:06 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Well, Aaron's doing okay! He's doing better all the time, honestly. He's earning, but that's not all of it. He's working for himself, instead of having someone hanging over his shoulder, but that's not all of it either. And it's not because he's smarter - being smart does not make you happy. Saint Rolf of the Parmo teaches us that. It's not because he's meaner - I don't think he 19:06 <VoxPVoxD> is, really." 19:06 <VoxPVoxD> "I think he's every bit as angry as you." 19:09 <VoxPVoxD> "I think..." she puts out her cigarette and drops it in a rubbish in as they pass one. "I think it's about the difference between having things to live for, and only having things you would die for." 19:10 <tom> “Stanning is eternal.” 19:10 <VoxPVoxD> "No one would question your valor, your self-sacrifice, your willingness to do the big and daring thing to protect the vulnerable, repel the wicked, whatever." 19:10 <VoxPVoxD> "But what can you live for?" 19:10 <tom> More seriously: ”I don’t know.” 19:10 <VoxPVoxD> "Me neither." All she knows is it isn't her. 19:10 <VoxPVoxD> "But I think that's the thing." 19:11 <VoxPVoxD> "That's the thing that's missing. It's not because you're a loser or a monster or whatever. It's because you're still just waiting to die." 19:11 <tom> “Damn,” he sounds sadder than the last time he said it. ”You’re real smart.” 19:11 <VoxPVoxD> "And, you know. In that context, it's easy to understand why you get impatient." 19:15 <tom> His cigarette goes into the bin with a flick of his fingers. ”You said you’re going to Italy after job’s done?” 19:15 <VoxPVoxD> The Greybox is close now. "Sicily! Sergio and I are. Two weeks." 19:16 <VoxPVoxD> "You never told me if you want me to bring something back." 19:18 <tom> “Oh, nothing that you’d be able to get back into the country I bet. I’ve always wanted a lupara though,” he grins. ”Don’t sweat that one.” 19:19 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I might have a lupara bianca in my future, but I'm not sure you want that either." 19:20 <tom> His grin doesn’t fade: ”We’ll see about that.”