20:31 <banana> An afternoon nap that lasts into the evening... it's a terrible way to manage your sleep, but when you've been wounded, and so much happens at night, and there are these jobs to keep with - needs must. Perhaps at least Kaga enjoys it. 20:32 <banana> Willie's not immediately sure what time it is. She's been woken by the light from her phone.. she must have messages from someone marked as high-priority, so that they don't get hidden outside of office hours. 20:33 <VoxPVoxD> Kaga enjoys when Willie stumbles out of her bedroom wincing and asks him, "Is it still Saturday?" and he responds "Perhaps in Newfoundland." 20:33 <VoxPVoxD> What does her phone say? 20:34 <banana> Some of what she expected. Messages from Sergio and Olly. 20:35 <banana> There are still people out if she opens her blinds, crowds down in St. Peter's Square and throughout the city center. They hurry merrily about beneath the cloud-choked stars. 20:35 <VoxPVoxD> So it's not that late, then, presumably. What do the messages say? 20:36 <banana> Bhojani: <Willie, I can't make it into the office tomorrow, not even the e-Office. There's a problem with my Dad.> 20:37 <banana> Bonasera: <Hello, Willie-love. Good time to call?> 20:37 <banana> Bonasera: <Would you believe when these things first came out, the standard was that they didn't have tap writing and you would just phone someone without any knowledge of where they were or what they were doing. Honestly glad I missed it.> 20:40 <VoxPVoxD> Ah. Well this is unpleasant in two distinct and simultaneous ways, like when something is both too bitter and too sour. Olly gets a text response, <think nothing of it, you're Covered. may I ask what's wrong? do you need any help?> 20:41 <banana> Unfortunately, Olly doesn't seem to be looking at his phone right now... 20:44 <VoxPVoxD> Willie stares at Sergio's messages, her thumb grazing the Home button rather than the keyboard. But she won't permit herself the act of cowardice. <darling!! I miss you terribly. there may be an Office Emergency that requires me to take a call but we Must speak. call at your leisure and perhaps we can arrange a meeting? it has been far too long 💓💓💓> 20:47 <banana> She's got a couple of minutes to herself before Sergio calls. When he does, he sounds ebullient. "Hello, good evening, how are things with the rock star?" 20:47 <banana> Sergio: "No, wait- I have another question. How do you feel about... James Bond?" 20:50 <VoxPVoxD> This is the first time she's heard Sergio's voice in over a week. She sighs, and Sergio can probably hear the tears of relief and exhaustion and happiness that stand attention at the corners of her eyes while she ploughs through her own emotions to speak. "Rather how I feel about The Crown. We do our self-concept as a nation a great disservice by pretending our royalty and our legbreakers 20:50 <VoxPVoxD> are so sexy. But I've never turned either off when they came on." 20:51 <VoxPVoxD> "Why do you ask about James Bond?" 20:53 <banana> Sergio: "There's a new one, somehow. Space shuttles and Marines with lasers weren't enough to kill him, commercially speaking." 20:53 <banana> "Feel like going on the weekend?" 20:54 <VoxPVoxD> "Oh!! That's finally coming out! I'd completely forgotten, it was supposed to come out ages ago but then the world ended two or three times." 20:54 <VoxPVoxD> "Yes! I'd be delighted." 20:56 <banana> Sergio: "Excellent, double-ewe oh seven. Let's see, places and times..." 20:56 <banana> Sounds like he's got his phone on speaker now. 20:57 <VoxPVoxD> Smiling: "Are you at your computer now? Where am I in your space?" 20:58 <banana> Sergio: "You're just a phone, very sad, but I've got you in my hands... I'm at home. I haven't been staying late at work recently." 21:00 <VoxPVoxD> Willie sinks into the sofa. Kaga is visible in the dark as floating orange eyes in the corner, bathed in shadow. "No? Did something happen?" 21:01 <banana> Sergio: "Well... we've talked about it a bit. The studio's mostly propaganda now, like an election campaign. I'm looking for other baskets. Egg dispersal." 21:02 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Do you want to come over? Spare me a trip to market? I haven't had time to do any shopping lately..." 21:03 <banana> "There's a cineplex at- yes! I haven't got any actual eggs, but I can pick up whatever you like on the way." 21:04 <VoxPVoxD> God damn it. Why does he have to be so sweet? "Please just bring yourself. It's been too long." 21:05 <banana> Has it been about a week, or a lifetime? 21:05 <banana> Time passes. The doorbell rings, or the elevator chimes. 21:07 <VoxPVoxD> Willie had enough time to get cleaned up, and she hardly looks incinerated at all anymore, but she still moves a bit stiffly as she throws the door open and makes Sergio embrace her at the threshold. The first kiss is long and hungry, the second gentle, and then she sort of backs him into the flat with her head against his chest and lets him close the door. 21:07 <VoxPVoxD> She really doesn't want to let go. 21:08 <banana> Sergio grins into her kiss, then just gives into it. "You're very warm, and not very large." 21:09 <VoxPVoxD> "People might call you cold... but I know better, my love." 21:09 <VoxPVoxD> The dog chuffs. 21:10 <banana> He's dressed down, apart from a riding jacket - jeans and a t-shirt with some enormous chinese character on it in various colours. 21:10 <VoxPVoxD> Willie looks up sharply and without a trace of softness or warmth: "Go sit in the bathroom and stay there until you're called." 21:10 <VoxPVoxD> "Milady." 21:11 <VoxPVoxD> The next sigh is just a bit ragged. "Aliens invaded on Friday morning." 21:11 <VoxPVoxD> "But everyone's okay." 21:11 <banana> Sergio: "I hope it's not resisting you much. Can't bring myself to see the thing as a-aah. Aliens, you say." 21:12 <banana> "I appreciate the followup... so your job is still even weirder than mine?" 21:14 <VoxPVoxD> Willie pulls him into the living room. "It's certainly more outlandish. But on some level it also feels very ordinary. The explosions and the chlorine gas are just accoutrements to the same problems everyone has, everywhere. Not unlike the fangs and capes." 21:15 <banana> Sergio takes a seat and offers himself as one in turn. "Genre differences." 21:15 <VoxPVoxD> "I'm not sure the aliens are really aliens, but they do a very convincing job looking like them and piloting spaceships, etcetera." She sinks into his lap without thinking and drapes her arms over his shoulders. "Have you found any new baskets?" 21:16 <banana> "I read science fiction as a boy, but it didn't hold my interest later on. Spaceships and dinosaurs... accoutrement is a good way to put it. Could they be as necessary to something out there as a fang?" 21:17 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "They insist as much. We're being paid very well to prove otherwise." 21:17 <VoxPVoxD> "How are you? Really?" 21:18 <banana> Sergio: "Sounds like fun. James Randi stuff?" He turns his face to press cheeks. "Sorry, I'll answer you properly. Let me think for a moment." 21:19 <banana> "I am... fine.. personally. My biggest problem is finding new work, but I barely spend money. I could submit pieces to galleries and papers for years without without having to touch an editing suite again." 21:20 <banana> "There are things that bug me." 21:20 <VoxPVoxD> She looks up at him as he thinks, but guilt and dread expand in her throat like a singularity. "What sorts of things?" 21:22 <banana> Sergio: "Like an earwig living up to its name. A crawling in your skull when things aren't right... most people, almost everyone in the covenant thinks that things are going just fine. That this new cold madwoman is a reasonable extension to our pyramid of fealty, that this influence campaign is justified and convincing..." 21:22 <banana> "The idea that the masses have gone wrong in their ignorance and need someone to reestablish control. It's persuading people, people I see everynight, but it's trite as Hell." 21:23 <banana> Sergio: "There is a superficial nobility of spirit to the five Victus Indomitus, yet they each have such... deep.. damage. And we're plotting, a secret societry trying to install them as benevolent dictators, without ever saying that's what we're doing!" 21:24 <banana> "I don't know how I was able to go for so long without seeing it, but the others... still don't." 21:25 <banana> "I don't want you to get the impression that it's your responsibility to do somethign about these things, Willie." 21:25 <banana> Quietly: "I don't think anyone can." 21:25 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Other people don't have the artist's eye for colour and darkness. Other people don't have connections outside the covenant that let them know there are other ways of seeing entirely." 21:26 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Would you be interested in exploring some of those connections?" 21:26 <banana> Sergio: "Making them is part of what we've been doing, but it's one-way and manipulative." 21:27 <banana> "Not that it feels that way in the moment - if you're in the room with Emily, she's nothing but straightforward. I guess it... wears off." 21:30 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "They are singular presences. But their reach is as small as their imaginations." 21:33 <banana> Sergio: "I don't know what they do on the Carthian Council. But I hope they aren't betting on the limited imagination of Simpson or Carl." 21:34 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "We've still got to give him back his sword." 21:34 <banana> "I wish you weren't connected to this thing... except, you know, I'm a connection." 21:34 <banana> "Can I take back the wish?" 21:35 <VoxPVoxD> God, she wants to cry so badly right now. 21:36 <banana> Sergio: "Willie? Are you alright?" 21:36 <banana> "Will you please tell me what I'm doing wrong?" 21:37 <VoxPVoxD> But he deserves better than that. She drags her cheek across his cheek and then-- ah fuck. There it goes. Loud sniff, heel of the hand across her eyes. She's got to slide off him. "You haven't done anything wrong. But... there's something I need to tell you." 21:40 <banana> The Ventrue neonate is completely blank-faced as she stands, then shakes himself and looks appropriately concerned. "Has... someone else? Done something wrong?" 21:41 <VoxPVoxD> The conversation with Mari took a lot out of her that hasn't been replenished yet, but it did give her a clear picture in her mind of how to describe what happened. So she does, in much the same way, except that she editorialises not at all about the Dragons' professionalism or scientific rigour. The focus is entirely on her failure of discipline, her failure of self-knowledge, her breach 21:41 <VoxPVoxD> of the trust of both men she loves. 21:42 <VoxPVoxD> She can't meet his eyes. Where was this instinct two months ago, she can imagine Aaron saying. 21:44 <VoxPVoxD> She's leaning against the opposite wall now, beneath the big panorama of Westminster at night across the Thames. 21:44 <banana> Expressions pass through Sergio's eyes until she stops looking. He's still a good listener, interrupting less than Mari, and only when Willie's run out of words does he say: "God, so you know what it's like." 21:45 <VoxPVoxD> Hollowly: "It earns its epithet." 21:46 <banana> He stands and crosses the room slowly, reaching out to touch her chin with the back of his fingers for just a moment. He leaves his arm up, hand half-curled. "Right now, I have these thoughts... they're mine, wherever they came from." 21:46 <VoxPVoxD> The touch gets her to look up at him with big wet eyes. 21:47 <banana> "'I could show her what it's really like.' 'She could be mine, girl and childe, and then nobody else would get a look-in.' 'She looks into my eyes like the ones I bleed, so it would be easy...'" 21:47 <banana> Sergio: "It wouldn't, really. That reassures me." 21:47 <banana> "I think you could kill me if you had to." 21:49 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "I've had some of those thoughts." 21:50 <VoxPVoxD> "Thoughts like... I could be trustworthy. I could be earnest. I could be loyal." 21:50 <VoxPVoxD> "If, if, if." 21:51 <banana> Sergio: "No, you could appear that way. All the world's your stage." 21:52 <banana> He certainly seems like a member of the audience, unable to look away. 21:52 <VoxPVoxD> "I feel so ugly, and selfish, and childish. Do you still want permission to take back the wish never to have met me?" 21:55 <banana> "That's not what I wished for. I might wish you'd never met the American soldier, but wouldn't it just be someone else? You want things with a power that goes beyond mundane desire." 21:55 <banana> "More than you can have. Reach exceeded by imagination." 21:57 <banana> He takes a step back. 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> "I hate it. You make it sound so grand, but what is the majesty of a desire that spoils the things that are already precious to me?" 21:57 <banana> "Sure. I spoke to Mariam Medwar for a while at the party." 21:58 <VoxPVoxD> Willie blinks. 21:58 <VoxPVoxD> "You did?" 21:58 <banana> "Interesting young woman. She was going do something.. some fairy ceremony, with Bob.. something akin to a betrothal or commitment. Has that come to pass?" 21:58 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Yeah, that very night." 22:00 <banana> Sergio: "You need some way to communicate with your subconscious. How can we trust you if you don't know what you want?" 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> That stings, but in an honest way. It feels like the sort of thing Kaga says. Willie gives him a searching look. 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> But it only feels honest because it validates what she's already thinking. 22:04 <VoxPVoxD> Softly: "You don't mean that." 22:04 <VoxPVoxD> "Or if you do, it's not the whole truth." 22:04 <banana> The city lights illuminate only the side of Sergio's face as he turns away, looking like one of his partial, unidentifiable photographs. 22:05 <banana> Sergio: "I'm not wrong. It may be harsh, which isn't what I want, but-" He breaks off. 22:05 <banana> "I had some idea. And I didn't bring anything up. A communication channel not opened." 22:06 <banana> "I just hoped it couldn't be true and wouldn't amount to anything. ...that guy?" 22:06 <VoxPVoxD> Okay. 22:07 <VoxPVoxD> "He didn't do anything wrong, Sergio." 22:07 <VoxPVoxD> "Is it-- would you feel better if it was someone else?" 22:09 <banana> Sergio: "Uh- well, I might feel more empowered, like there was something I could do differently. A way to be more appealing without being, and I use this term understanding that you've got a deep affection for the guy, Goremanesque." 22:09 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "What does that term mean to you?" 22:12 <banana> "A drunk at a party who kept telling secrets to strangers because they were burning a hole in his head and then hit on the Barrow-Smith. Medwar said he was incredibly funny and would always save someone in trouble, which I guess I could see, but it didn't come across as romantic." 22:12 <banana> Sergio: "I think I'm going to need to spend some re-evaluation time with Bob." 22:13 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "Ask the question." 22:13 <banana> "Which one?" 22:13 <VoxPVoxD> "'What do you see in him?'" 22:16 <banana> Sergio: "Oh. Yeah, I guess women's feelings are not some unknowable throw of the dice, although that idea's only waned a little bit in forty years... what are his better qualities?" 22:16 <banana> "What do you want in a relationship that you could find in Bob Goreman?" 22:17 <VoxPVoxD> "I know him." 22:17 <VoxPVoxD> "He is knowable." 22:18 <VoxPVoxD> "Is he a manchild? Yes. Is he a mental wreck? Lost to the point of helplessness? Anxious to the point of idiocy? Yes, yes, yes." 22:18 <VoxPVoxD> "Are you?" 22:18 <VoxPVoxD> "How could anyone ever tell?" 22:18 <banana> Sergio: "You could drink my blood and read my mind." 22:18 <VoxPVoxD> Willie: "If that's what it takes, I will." 22:19 <VoxPVoxD> "I don't want to want more than you. I want you, but you keep yourself folded up out of sight. Even from me." 22:20 <VoxPVoxD> "I don't even know if it's a fair thing to ask of you! I don't know why you're so damned smooth. So emollient. So sexy and cool and frictionless like a knife between the ribs." 22:20 <banana> The clouds are back, so the light from the windows below now only reflects off the ceiling. Sergio's face is not in shadow when he looks at Willie with something like surrender in his eyes, but his arm emerges from a vague mass of darkness. 22:20 <VoxPVoxD> "Tell me." 22:20 <VoxPVoxD> "I'm begging you." 22:20 <VoxPVoxD> She doesn't recoil. 22:25 <banana> He raises a wrist slowly to his lips, bares his teeth enough to see the points, but doesn't bite. "I don't know how else to be. Everything changed... I never achieved much except to be saved, made... an unthinkable thing, by a man who's got this got this incredible camaraderie and finds nothing unthinkable.." 22:25 <banana> "I was a well-off failure. Then I sold my family ties for how many more years of what? I play ballgames with these old men who appreciate the youngster and have no idea we went to school together. I know every rule of etiquette and I've never slept with a woman more times than with you." 22:26 <banana> "What is there to open up? Is there anything to love inside, or just horrible scenes of brief struggle in alleyways? If I try, can I have you?" 22:27 <VoxPVoxD> Immediately, ferociously: "Yes. Yes. Yes." 22:29 <banana> In an elegant movement, Sergio moves his neck and his hand together. There's a little well of dark blood, which immediately stops moving, pooled on the surface of his wrist. He holds it steady, not exactly proffering. "I don't care whether you want to do it this way or the other." 22:34 <VoxPVoxD> Willie steps towards him and takes his wrist in her hand, flatly taking what isn't being offered. She holds it to her face. Her nostrils flare. Her eyes close. 22:34 <VoxPVoxD> Does it smell of anything but blood? 22:35 <banana> There's a little bit of the Beast in there, that power and hunger that she will never be able to forget. 22:35 <VoxPVoxD> "My throat is burning." 22:36 <banana> Sergio: "It does that. You can limit yourself - I do - but you can't limit the wanting. You're not totally incomprehensible to me, Willie-love." 22:38 <VoxPVoxD> He's never seen her so deeply, evenly conflicted before. No one has. 22:39 <VoxPVoxD> The will to take and hold is burning and bottomless within her... but the leash, while stretched and strained, is not yet broken. The fire within her rises to the very edge of the surface. She can feel it in every inch of her skin. It pricks like needles on her arms. It burns her lips. 22:39 <banana> Sergio tugs gently at her clasped hands, as if to pull his wrist away. "Maybe I should actually make a choice, huh?" 22:39 <VoxPVoxD> "Stop." 22:40 <banana> "We don't have to tempt people just because Mother Carrenya says so in church. And you, I think, don't have to give in to temptation." 22:41 <VoxPVoxD> "You want to decide, my love? You want to choose the path you take to take me?" 22:41 <VoxPVoxD> She gets so close. She whispers, not to the man but to his open vein. "I offer you a deal." 22:42 <VoxPVoxD> "Give me three weeks. Give us until Christmas. Meet my people. Join my work. Stand among the Dragons and learn alongside me. See my life. Show me yours. Keep no secrets. Withhold no questions." 22:43 <VoxPVoxD> "If the birth of Christ has come and gone and you still don't feel safe in my arms, I will taste you and be yours forever." 22:44 <banana> Sergio: "What kind of deal is that? I win either way." 22:45 <VoxPVoxD> "Why should you lose?" 22:45 <VoxPVoxD> "Why need anyone lose?" 22:45 <VoxPVoxD> "We can have everything we desire if only we're bold enough to take it." 22:45 <VoxPVoxD> Her voice is barely a whisper. "Are you man enough to take it?" 22:46 <banana> Sergio: "It surprises me that I am. This isn't desperation or loneliness... given the prize, I'm up for a fight." 22:46 <banana> He reaches out with his other hand to wipe the blood off his wrist, then pulls Willie back into his arms. 22:49 <VoxPVoxD> She pushes him into the wall with force, laces her fingers in his hair, and pulls him down to her level. 22:50 <VoxPVoxD> No more words pass between them. 22:50 <VoxPVoxD> Kaga gets in the shower and pushes the door shut with his snout. It blocks most of the noise. 22:51 <VoxPVoxD> The next morning, there's been an update in Huntr. The description in Willie's TrackCheck entry has an asterisk, and the asterisk footnotes another song link. 22:51 <VoxPVoxD> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HDEHj2yzew 22:51 <VoxPVoxD> Who needs to go to sleep when I've got you next to me?