22:48 <banana> When you pull up at the corner of Fairy and Rhine, Mari breathes a sigh of relief. She can drive, but she's still getting used to the truck. 22:50 <banana> Mariam: "I think you would've had about two more weeks before someone started putting out feelers." 22:50 <tom> Bob is in no position to criticize her driving from the passenger seat. Which is to say, he's in the driver-side, if this were a normal country. Which it isn't. You're doing great, baby. 22:51 <banana> "If you hadn't volunteered for this, I mean. Someone from the hill would come around asking hey, is there anything you need, and hey, have you got any free time for what this guy needs-" 22:53 <tom> "That just means I'm staying winning, yeah?" Bob is looking a little drained, but is seemingly in good spirits as he hugs her close and zips up his jacket. 22:54 <tom> "I'd be pretty sad, like really sad, to join up and immediately get booted for failing to keep my upload ratio stable." 22:56 <banana> Mari gives Bob a side-hug so she doesn't have to get out and then clamber back in to the driver's seat. She is not tall. 22:56 <banana> "It's not really a pulling-your weight thing, we just.. all want to reduce the risk of each other dying by suicide, basically." She grins at him. 22:57 <banana> The house in Cheetwood looks a little more dilapidated in the daytime... but safer to approach; you can see the denuded bits of earth in the unkempt lawn which are likely to conceal tripwires and detonators. 22:57 <tom> She's so dang cute it is unfair. 22:58 <tom> Well the number one rule these people follow seems to be 'stay in your lane' so he does. 23:00 <banana> There's a quiet conversation some way inside, but Bob hasn't gone unnoticed - the camera mounted above the front door swivels to face and zoom in on him. It irises briefly, granting permission to enter. 23:02 <tom> Nice. Bob has a little black backpack hanging off his shoulder as he steps up to the threshold and rings politely. 23:04 <tom> If it's necessary for polite relations, he'll unzip the bag and show the camera its interior- just various cleaning solutions- WD40 features heavily- rags, and disassembly tools. 23:05 <tom> Now, you aren't actually supposed to clean firearms with WD40, unless you have to. But there's nothing better for removing cured cosmoline. 23:05 <banana> Apparently not; Paul has already done multiple bolts by the time he gets the bag open, and the door swings wide. "Come in, Goreman. Sumi's making tea in theory, but it may have to wait until after 'the socials'." 23:06 <tom> "....'Socials?'" He adds, trying to work out if this is one of those proper noun capital letter sorta deals. 23:07 <banana> The hallway lights are kind of old, and can't compete with the brightness of the sunlight flooding in. They create a liminal space that shimmers around Paul Z, and Bob sees his true form: fatter, mostly. A bloated and hairless man, swollen as if by gavage. In both Mask and Mien he smiles a little wryly. 23:07 <tom> In any case he's stepping inside and re-shouldering his bag. 23:07 <tom> He smiles back, and doesn't crack wise. 23:07 <banana> Paul: "Social media. The great durance of our age. Hmm." 23:08 <tom> "Oh yeah dude, that shit just exists to make you insane." 23:09 <banana> Paul: "Yeah, I'm just contemplating slang." He ushers you through to a living room which actually looks kind of like the ones in Alpha Strike Gaming House, except that there are half the number of sofas and some paintings in clean patches on the walls. 23:09 <banana> "Must be irritating to have travelled over here and now everyone is saying words which make perfect sense if you were a teen in the city. Goober. Aye. Dobbles." 23:10 <tom> "Haven't clocked 'Dobbles' yet, I'll keep an ear out for that one so I can be appropriately pissed." 23:11 <banana> Paul: "Ah, I made it up.. or let's hope that's so..." He sits on a large chair, hands on his knees. 23:11 <banana> "Now. Nice to see you and I'll look forward to finding out who 'Bob Goreman' is, however... I hear you know a lot. About firearms." 23:12 <tom> Bob takes a seat. "It's basically the only reason anyone bothers to keep me around." 23:13 <banana> "Your message mentioned maintenance and also customisation?" 23:14 <tom> He unshoulders the bag and rummages for a bit while they talk. "I noticed a few things in the armory that could use a tune up. Nothing major, just a few long rifles that could use the ole modernization package." 23:15 <tom> "Some of those old rails and scopes are a pain to make work with modern systems." 23:16 <banana> "That's what we like to hear." Paul sits up straighter and rubs his hands together. "We have all these things in order to not use them, which means they rot. Obsolescence, inactivity. It's been a significant part of my job to try and prevent the story where someone takes out an emergency gun and it just jams solid." 23:16 <tom> "...And if you're interested, later, I might need your help with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I wanna take down my Mjolnir and see how it really works." He gestures to the opened bag. "Obviously not, like, now." He is conspicuously un-mjolnir'd. No visor either. He's meeting Paul's gaze with his own bleary eyes. 23:17 <tom> "Yeah I figured. If you guys are still using cosmoline- awful stuff, truly- I'm an expert at stripping and cleaning it." 23:17 <tom> "Then we can get you guys onto like, modern anti-corrosive film so you don't need to use it anymore." 23:18 <banana> Paul: "I accept. Not that I'm expert enough to know what you're doing with, uh, Thor's Hammer? Let's assume it's a codename." 23:18 <banana> There's a yell from (presumably) the kitchen. Sumiya's voice: "I'M NOT BRINGING THE TEA TO YOU!" 23:18 <tom> "I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill me." 23:18 <tom> Bob is getting up to get tea unless Paul pre-empts him. 23:19 <banana> Paul is happy to sit and be waited on, then discuss some of the theory for a bit over tea. 23:19 <tom> "Hey Sumi!" Bob beams as he strolls into the kitchen. 23:20 <banana> Sumi: "Bobbins. Good day, and good you're helping out." She's got a huge teapot under a cosy knitted to look like a hen, and several spare cups. 23:20 <tom> Hell yes. "Hell yes." 23:21 <banana> "I'd join you guys buuut. You're going to be talking about guns?" 23:21 <tom> "We're also going to be talking about being fucked up, if history is any indication." 23:22 <banana> Sumi, dismissively: "That's background radiation. I'll come hang out but if it's all guns and football, don't mind when I suddenly have to go to the loo." 23:23 <banana> Bracelets jangle on her wrists as she picks up a cup and sweeps down the hall to sit, temporarily, in the best remaining chair. 23:23 <tom> He takes a pair of teacups. "No pressure, I actually want to ask your permission to use my camera that steals souls on you later. You know, Hatch Starling asked- you were there." 23:23 <tom> He takes a single teacup then. 23:23 <tom> No, no he does take a pair; one for Paul. 23:24 <tom> Respect, honestly. 23:24 <banana> Sumi backpedals, talking to Bob over her shoulder as he pours. "Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with it. It didn't hurt Mari, right? And she said your own song was kind of unlistenable, so I'm not going to be the embarassed one." 23:24 <tom> "It depends on your tastes." 23:25 <tom> "We're still not sure if it actually steals anybody's souls but I'm on the informed consent tip after some guys got freaked out by it." 23:25 <banana> Paul: "What's all this then?" For a moment, you're having a lounge-hallway-kitchen conversation. Two people is far from the limit this place could hold if it was in its prime, and they've developed the habit of communicating at range and at volume. 23:25 <tom> Bob returns, dual-wielding tea. 23:26 <banana> Sumi: "Bob's House found a magic item which plays anyone's wrestling intro track." 23:26 <tom> "Oh yeah you weren't there, huh." 23:26 <banana> Paul: "Aeroplane rule." 23:27 <tom> "We're still having a hard time finding a real use for it." 23:27 <tom> Paul gets a little china cup and Bob returns to his backpack to sip thoughtfully. 23:27 <banana> Paul takes his tea happily and blows the steam off it. They've got the window open, so there's plenty of chill air in this front room to counteract the heat of the beverage. 23:28 <banana> Sumi: "You could use it.. to... nah, I'm not sure. You could.. charge admission, I guess." 23:29 <tom> Bob, after a big sip of tea: "This is normal tea right, not goblin sad-juice or like... Sumi blood." 23:29 <banana> "No, the tea is not my blood. It is Earl Grey." 23:30 <tom> "You should avoid telling a lot of the people I've met about the blood thing," he chuckles. "Oh wow." 23:31 <banana> Paul: "I'm a little gobsmacked mate. You just kind of open your mouth and let everything spill out, aye?" 23:31 <banana> Sumi shakes her head. "Bob's cool." 23:32 <banana> "He made me jalebi." 23:33 <tom> "People spend a lot of time trying to be clever, tryin'... it's not my scene anymore." 23:33 <tom> "Just get it out, you know?" 23:33 <tom> "If it's not polite to talk about I can stow it." 23:34 <banana> The Winter Hill's armourer: "I don't know if I do know, but it's not my business." 23:34 <banana> "It's good to hear about cosmoline alternatives, that's going to save a lot of waste disposal... I could really use a hands-on demo." 23:35 <tom> "Yeah, and once we get you onto modern alternatives it'll save you a lot of maintenance time." 23:35 <banana> Sumi: "Oh, no. None of the guns talk until I've finished this cup... let's move up the soul stealing camera. Motion to reorder the agenda?" 23:35 <tom> "Seconded." 23:36 <tom> Bob takes out his phone, rubs his eyes. "Anyone want to volunteer?" 23:36 <banana> Paul Z: "The motion is passed on a voice vote." 23:36 <banana> "It does sound.. interesting. Is there a goblin in the app, judgin' us?" 23:36 <tom> "Maybe!" 23:36 <tom> "We have no idea." 23:37 <banana> Paul: "Okay. I'd better take the bullet." Sumi makes a 'pfft' noise. 23:37 <tom> Bob lifts his phone and steals Paul's soul. 23:38 <tom> "It takes a little while. While it's doing that we can talk more about how I need to get better at the whole secrets deal." 23:38 <tom> "Seems important." 23:39 <tom> "Haven't gotten pasted for breaking any Oaths just yet, so I must be at least a passing grade." 23:40 <banana> Paul: "Ah, yeah. This bit isn't a social obligation, you know." 23:41 <banana> "So.. have you ever really had the talk? The big explanation? Now that you're one of us, you know what most of us are?" 23:44 <tom> "I have something approaching a real idea. I was so bummed out to find out Mari wasn't a alien." 23:44 <tom> "That would've been way less upsetting." 23:45 <banana> Sumi: "Yeah, well. Aliens aren't real." 23:45 <banana> "The Keepers are real." 23:45 <tom> "Yeah. And I keep getting told I'm dumb as pigshit for asking how to kill one, but I still gotta." 23:45 <banana> Paul: "We escaped from them, and we're hiding, uh, forever. They want us back. They send hunters. They've got weird fake minds and think in odd timescales and if you're very lucky, they forget about you for as long as you live." 23:45 <tom> "So instead I'm good with helping out." 23:46 <banana> Bob's phone beeps. 23:46 <tom> "One stolen soul, coming up hot." 23:46 <banana> Paul: "We don't think killing them permanently is possible, but it couldn't hurt to- oh, let's see." 23:46 <banana> Sumi gets up eagerly to see the screen. 23:47 <banana> Paul, Mr. Z- | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2twLJU_ggGI | "Salve the wound where the chain touches flesh and pad it with cotton wool, for the chain will never ever break." 23:47 <tom> Bob turns the phone around so they can see while the track plays. 23:47 <banana> Sumi: "Kind of a mean track in both senses." 23:48 <tom> "I just ignore the mean shit and the lyrics." 23:48 <tom> "It slaps if you don't think too hard about it, usually." 23:48 <banana> Paul: "How does it know." 23:49 <tom> "Anyway I wouldn't like, get tore up about the mean part," he gulps, trying to soften the blow, if indeed it is received as one. "The main utility is that the text doesn't say like, 'Paul is about to do a coup' or some shit." 23:49 <tom> "We've had that one already, actually." 23:49 <banana> "Yeah, no, it says..." He trails off. 23:49 <banana> Sumi: "Real shit? You'd better do mine." 23:50 <banana> "I've overcome my problems and accepted myself, so-" 23:53 <banana> Paul seems to withdraw into his chair. Sumi's body language urges Bob, leave him alone, show me my soul. 23:53 <tom> Bob snaps her with the device and then withdraws back into his own chair to feel like a real shithead. 23:55 <banana> Everyone drinks tea. 23:55 <banana> Beep. Sumiya Veera Venkata Tyagabrahmam | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgeoV_-BHR8 | "Take what you're given, take what you can get -- what's wrong with being a stereotype anyway?" 23:56 <tom> We stan. 23:56 <tom> That does improve his mood after a fashion. 23:56 <banana> Sumi: "Oh shit. I love this. Everyone shut up for a bit." 23:56 <tom> That will not be a problem. 23:58 <banana> By the second chorus she's singing along. Paul frowns, bestirs himself: "Is that.. about ED??" 23:58 <tom> "No dude it's about Sumi." 23:58 <banana> Sumi: "Well, about or for. Let me see the phone again, please?" 23:59 <tom> Bob hands it over. 23:59 <banana> "I feel almost obligated to defend this thing about stereotyping, but it doesn't ring true... the first bit's accurate. I guess." 23:59 <banana> "Like that is basically my philosophy. Bad things and good things both happen, so make sure to take advantage of the good ones..." 00:00 <tom> "I don't have strong opinions. I just point it at folks in case it's like... one of them's got the Jaws theme, you know? Could save your life." 00:00 <tom> "I don't like." 00:00 <tom> "Have any powers." 00:00 <tom> "So I gotta scrape for every edge I can get." 00:00 <banana> Paul: "It's written by someone who knows us, but superficially." 00:01 <banana> "Someone's opinion of stuff that's true. But it's still their opinion." 00:01 <banana> Sumi: "Could be!" 00:01 <tom> "Yeah it's... I don't think it's like a weighing of your soul." 00:02 <banana> Sumi: "But it is an accurate recounting, yeah? I mean, maybe not accurate, but recounting from a position of accurate knowledge?" 00:02 <banana> Paul: "Yes." 00:02 <banana> "Not very creative, I'd say." 00:03 <banana> Now it's Sumi's turn to frown, if briefly. "The more I think about it, the more it seems like a big deal... but not really." 00:03 <tom> "A couple folks've said it's like if some shitty film director were in charge." 00:04 <banana> Paul: "We're all done, yeah?" He holds up his cup. "Let's go take a look at some sights and bodies, Goreman." 00:04 <banana> Sumi controls herself re: phrasing. 00:04 <tom> "Yessir." 00:04 <tom> He tables his plan to tell them the really upsetting stuff for now, then. 00:06 <banana> On the way to the vault, Paul gives you a tour of the house. Its size and general condition is explained by the fact that half of the interior has had its unimportant walls knocked out and turned into a firing range, with heavy sound-absorbing insulation. It's all pretty makeshift but the ranges and targets are accurate, with a few safety headsets and some sound-looking ammo lockers on a wide 00:06 <banana> bench. 00:07 <tom> Indoor ranges suck ass (and have AWFUL fucking acoustics) but, fuck, it's England. Not surprising. 00:07 <banana> "The main thing," he explains, "is that we need to give basic training with semiannual updatse to people who are not legally permitted to own or operate a firearm." 00:08 <banana> "Some of em have convictions, some aren't human in a sense a court would recognise, some beyond the age limit. You know?" 00:08 <tom> "Everyone but uh, Kylie, seemed like they'd be basically fine for it." 00:08 <banana> "Fine in reality, yeah, not under the law." 00:08 <tom> "I don't know if she should use a gun, or, like, fight." 00:09 <tom> "Sure, sure. I'm happy to teach gun safety." 00:10 <banana> Paul: "That would be a help. Though to be honest, the only one who doesn't have it all down by now is your Mari. Everyone else rolls their eyes and tells me 'I'm never going to pick one of these things up outside of this room, Paul.'" 00:11 <tom> "Well, that's fine. I uh, you know, I don't wanna... push her on that, you know? Not everyone needs to be a sicko." 00:11 <tom> "But I can still teach her basic safety. Everyone should know that in case they pick one up under circumstances." 00:11 <banana> Paul: "No guarantee you'll be there when they come for her." 00:12 <tom> "Oh they better hope not. I will dab on their flaming fucking corpses." 00:12 <tom> "...Actually I wanted to talk to you about that a bit, if it's not too fucked up." 00:13 <banana> Paul's locking up the range entry - it's not as highly protected as the vault downstairs, to which which you can't even see the entrance ordinarily. "Uh. Yeah, you know, fire away." 00:13 <tom> Bob is unpacking his bag and stacking various containers of cleaning agents, specialized screwdrivers, and so on. 00:14 <tom> Bob will let Paul show him to a stored weapon to begin carefully removing the cosmoline- it's not hard, really- he just sprays the WD40 and lets it soak in. After a few minutes the cured, hardened laquer starts to drip, and he'll take up a rag to wipe it off. 00:15 <tom> The hardest bit is the interior of the barrel, the machined surfaces inside the action. Takes time to get in there. 00:15 <tom> "It's like I was saying. Gotta scrape for every advantage I got." 00:15 <tom> "So I'm thinking, well, what's one thing I can do you can't? Well, iron doesn't hurt." 00:16 <tom> "I wanna work on a device I can use to completely fuck-up a room full of elves. You know, preferably- preferably without any of you guys in it with me." 00:16 <tom> "But I also want permission, first." 00:17 <banana> The guns in the armoury are mostly high-caliber, things which prioritise accuracy and stopping power over dexterity or range. They're intended to be used in emergencies by people who rarely pick up a weapon, against threats unknown but serious. 00:17 <banana> Both walls of the vault are lined with the weapons (and accessories), then at the far end is the maintenance area with a little sitting desk and the workshop gear that Bob's using for his demonstration. 00:18 <banana> Paul: "Cold iron bullets are useful, if not easy to obtain; you just have to be careful in the handling. Only King Starling and I would qualify at this point, but it can be taught like any other safety protocol." 00:19 <tom> "Oh then I should probably tell you that I already made some." 00:19 <banana> Paul: "If you want permission to spray hobs with lead or shrapnel, it's yours." 00:20 <tom> "They haven't hurt anybody as far as I can tell. I mean, I've got an idea for something that would truly mess up a huntsman or bigger. I'm talking about a dense inert metal explosive, padded with cotton around the charge to dampen the blast so it just covers the whole area with flakes of hammered iron." 00:20 <tom> "Get shit on Keebler fuck." 00:21 <tom> Bob cleans the weapon in silence. "I just really hate them for what they did to you guys." 00:21 <banana> Paul: "Isn't that kind of weird?" 00:21 <tom> "Is it?" 00:22 <banana> "Yeah. I hate the bastards for what they did to me, right enough... where's your well of it coming from?" 00:23 <banana> "What other hatreds are you displacing, Goreman?" 00:23 <tom> "Do you really wanna know? Because it's like you said, it just slips out." 00:23 <tom> Maybe he is learning, after all? 00:24 <tom> Bob follows up fast: "In any case I'm told it's normal to be pissed when someone does something really shitty... even if it doesn't happen to you." 00:24 <tom> "People don't donate to Red Cross because their hometown got hit with an earthquake." 00:24 <banana> Paul scrapes the rust inhibitor from another revolver. He's spent enough time with these weapons to be familiar, although Bob can see he didn't have formal training (or not any time recently?). 00:25 <banana> "They don't volunteer to wear a bomb vest into Arcadia." 00:26 <tom> "Maybe they don't have a girlfriend who got taken." 00:26 <tom> "In any case it's not a bomb vest. It could be if I weakened the charge enough. It doesn't need to be like, that strong. It's an area denial weapon." 00:27 <tom> "If one shows up, I can throw that sucker down and be fine." 00:27 <tom> "But some Sir Slicer looking motherfucker? Wasted." 00:27 <tom> "That's what I was good at, yeah? That's why I'm still alive. Because I come up with shit like that, and sometimes it even works." 00:28 <banana> Paul: "Ah." 00:29 <tom> "And if you're wondering why I'm so mad at the Gentry." 00:29 <tom> "It's not just Mari." 00:29 <tom> "I spent ten years in a U.S. Army Task Force dedicated to annihilating aliens. Extra-dimensionals. You know." 00:30 <tom> "I didn't know about the Unseelie until I met Mari." 00:30 <tom> "So I'm kinda pissed at myself." 00:30 <banana> Most of the stuff here is ex-YPA - Bosnian War stuff probably. The rest is older UK surplus, the kind, they got rid of when modernising for Iraq... and that means some of the last and finest products of Enfield Lock. 00:31 <tom> "It's like I've been busting kids for smoking grass while saluting Mr. Epstein on his way to his island every fucking morning for a decade." 00:31 <banana> Paul thinks about that for a bit while handing over a ridiculous stubby AR with two grips for inspection. 00:32 <banana> "I guess you couldn't have known. Boot camp style stuff, right? Trained not to ask questions?" 00:32 <tom> Bob almost tears up with joy as he takes the SA80 and coos gently. 00:32 <tom> It gets a working over of WD40 while he speaks: "Yeah." 00:32 <banana> "The question to which you allude is who did know." 00:33 <tom> Bob: "Yeah." 00:33 <banana> "You really like that thing?" 00:33 <tom> "It's awful. I love her." 00:34 <tom> "I'm also kinda pissed that I actually... you know, everyone's so jaded now. I guess I'm one of them. But not always." 00:34 <banana> Paul: "The cover pops up if you fire enough burst to use the gas! I've had to put a bit of tape on it, look!" 00:34 <tom> "You know, I really thought we were gonna save the world." 00:34 <banana> "Not with one of these, you won't." Z. sets the weapon back on the 'last resort' shelf. 00:34 <tom> "Oh I can fix that. There's a whole modernization package they put in to make the Ess-Ay Eighty less shit." 00:35 <tom> "But yeah not really worth the effort right now." 00:35 <tom> "Someday, though." 00:35 <banana> "You want to try, you can't make it worse." 00:37 <banana> Paul: "The gun, not the world." He seems to shake himself and the light shifts again. "World doesn't need saving." 00:37 <tom> "Kinda feels like it does, bro," he adds in a tight, high voice. 00:38 <banana> Paul: "Nah." He's letting Bob take over now, watching with great interest, noting the way he works. 00:38 <banana> "Look." 00:39 <banana> "I joined the Freehold in '04. Sumi was after me, two thousand and eight, and then nobody until your Mari a few years back." 00:39 <banana> "Do you realise how many people are- are completely fine?" 00:40 <banana> "We've got them contained. It sucks, we're not safe, and if your ironbomb works, I say use it. But we've got the cost right down." 00:40 <tom> "Yeah, you're right. And if you guys were the only people I was talking to every night about the horrible shit that's been happening to them, I'd agree." 00:40 <tom> Bob: "But you are not." 00:41 <tom> "All these motherfuckers." 00:41 <banana> "If you mean the vampires, it does, uh, it sounds like someone should save the world from those guys, yeah." 00:41 <tom> "They all think they're fucking untouchable. Really burns my ass. Really." 00:41 <banana> "Assuming they're not running the place." 00:41 <tom> "I just wanna reach out and- boop!" Bob pats a stack of ammunition crates. 00:42 <tom> "In any case it's my job- literally, this is the task that Uncle Sam, the closest thing I had to one of your fuckin' keepers- paid me for, and the only reason I didn't do a dime in a federal pen." 00:43 <tom> "I find weird shit, and I find ways to kill it." 00:44 <tom> "Most of the vampires I've been meeting here are just as much victims as you guys." 00:44 <tom> "Well. Maybe not most. But more than you'd think." 00:44 <tom> Victims, bro? What are you doing. 00:44 <tom> "I mean they've had it rough," he corrects. 00:45 <tom> "And I... would like... to start using these hands-" he lifts his palms, now greased orange with cosmoline residue- "to do something that makes the world less shitty, instead of more, for once." 00:46 <tom> "But so far I'm mostly making women upset and hurting feelings and it sucks so bad dude." 00:46 <banana> Paul: "Uh-huh." 00:46 <banana> After a few minutes working: "Now, I know you don't have a girlfriend who got turned into a vampire and a girlfriend who's been eaten by a werewolf." 00:46 <tom> "What's your opinion on oversharing?" 00:47 <banana> Paul: "I don't spend a lot of time in conversation... except with people who hold it up entirely on their end." 00:47 <tom> Bob: "Put another way, can I ask you to promise not to tell Mari or like... Sumi... or really anyone other than Hatch, I guess." 00:47 <tom> "You don't need to like use magic... I trust you." 00:47 <banana> "Because you don't know me very well?" 00:48 <tom> "There's nothing easier than telling secrets to strangers." 00:48 <banana> Paul: "I'm not saying I'm untrustworthy, mark you. I can keep a secret. But you're.. ah, forget it. I'll listen." 00:49 <tom> Bob takes up a crate of ammunition and starts looking for rust in the belt feeds. 00:49 <tom> "You are correct that a vampire never murdered my girlfriend. Although one came close when I was in the Long N- well, no, I just had a crush on a crazy girl in my Youth Group." 00:50 <tom> "No monster ever killed anyone I loved." 00:50 <tom> He gulps. "But I did." 00:50 <tom> "I pulled the trigger and she died." 00:50 <tom> "So." 00:50 <tom> Bob resumes cleaning. 00:50 <banana> Paul: "Why?" 00:50 <tom> "I had my orders." 00:51 <banana> It's very hard to read this guy, but that's the question literally anyone would ask. 00:51 <tom> "So I turned up... the music to drown her out on the radio and I fired the missile. Success. No more Pandoran." 00:52 <tom> "Anyway I went insane." 00:55 <tom> He doesn't say anything for a long time as he works through stacks of belt-fed ammunition. It's SO important to look for stretches or bends in the belts or it'll jam up at the worst time, always. 00:55 <tom> "Acceptable losses." 00:56 <banana> Paul's finished inspecting several primer boxes. Eventually, he says, "So they told you this stuff was necessary, and now you know they didn't care about the real monsters. Or not all of them." 00:56 <banana> "That would feel like shit, yeah." 00:56 <tom> "I think it was just trying to get away, now that I've had time to think about it." 00:56 <tom> "Well, it did. Didn't even proper kill it." 00:57 <tom> "All of it, anyway." 00:57 <banana> "You sure you don't want to tell Mari about this?" 00:57 <banana> "Maybe not immediately." 00:58 <tom> "God." He's got his head in his hands. "It's the only fucking stupid thing I just can't bring myself to say no matter what." 00:58 <tom> "I only ever did the one good thing, everything else is just like that, only the people getting splashed weren't people I gave a shit about." 00:59 <tom> "I've been milking it for so long, you know, she thinks I'm a hero. Everyone cheering for me when I first got to meet Hatch after I arrived.." 00:59 <tom> "It wasn't shitty of me to enjoy that." 00:59 <banana> Paul: "Sure. What did Sumiya's song say? Take what you can get." 01:00 <banana> "I don't know why you're telling me all this, mate. I've got some good advice and some bad advice if you like." 01:00 <banana> "Dredged up from a past self." 01:00 <tom> "I'm telling you because this afternoon I talked to someone who saw right through my bullshit in half a second and I made her leave the room screaming at me." 01:01 <tom> Bob: "Go ahead." 01:01 <banana> Paul takes a break on the vault's one stool. "Okay, here's the bad advice. It's bad because it doesn't help anything and you can't really feel it in your gut. This is stuff I know intellectually and I'd hope you do too, but feeling it's another thing." 01:03 <banana> "So, you know, there's no need to feel like you have to do more... acts of heroism, or like you're only worthwhile if you save the girl and shoot the bad guys. Sounds like shooting guys hasn't even worked out most of the time.. point is, you don't need to do anything to be worth something." 01:04 <tom> "I'm in the fourth quarter and the score's one to two hundred. I have to make up some points fast." 01:04 <banana> Paul: "I'm just repeating something a therapist told me. I stopped seeing her because she.. did something wrong, also. Not to me, but. Anyway, it's still true." 01:05 <banana> "What kind of sport has two hundred points a game?" 01:06 <tom> Bob: "Football, if you're going against John Heisman." Hold on. "American, I mean." 01:06 <tom> Bob: "Football, if you're going against John Heisman." Hold on. "American, I mean." 01:07 <banana> Paul: "Ah. Don't know much about it." 01:08 <banana> "The bopet stuff was a good idea. If it really keeps the rust off, that's much better than gunk." 01:09 <tom> "It'll be less of a pain to work with in the long run. Cosmoline gets- well, you know." 01:09 <tom> "...What's the good advice?" 01:10 <banana> "Oh, uh, yeah. Just tell her there's something you can't tell her, aye?" 01:10 <banana> "I'm working through some stuff, someday maybe, lots to think about. However you want to put it." 01:11 <banana> "You won't feel like you're keeping a secret, so she won't pick up bad vibes. Then you bring it up again never or someday." He shrugs. 01:12 <tom> Bob: "That is good advice." 01:12 <tom> "I will do that." 01:13 <tom> "Now," Bob cracks his knuckles and leans back on the bench. "Let's see if we can't clean out the dust from your LAW without blowing ourselves up." 01:14 <banana> Paul: "Yeah, an extra pair of hands helps. Don't need to put it to my eye to see what's wrong with the tube that way." He's not going to ask what a Pandoran is, but he's imagining something with chains.