08:03 <tom> Tina's got a phone now, so she'll have the Huntr app if Richard isn't too scared of her to walk her through its use. It might be a while before she notices the notifications appearing on the screen, though. 08:03 <tom> BG: <hey last time you paid so im gonna flip it on you> 08:04 <Quaker> Sorry, who has got a phone now? 08:04 <tom> Agostina, ma'am. 08:05 <Quaker> AB: < ok > 08:05 <tom> BG: <i dont know what kind of food you like. i can pick you up, you dont need to get run over by a rolf on your bike> 08:05 <Quaker> AB: < what does that mean? > 08:06 <Quaker> AB: < oh > 08:06 <Quaker> AB: < no I will ride my bike there > 08:06 <Quaker> AB: < whatever is fine > 08:08 <Quaker> AB: < british indian > 08:10 <tom> Then Badawi will receive an address to a place called "Sangam" off the A34; it is quickly and painfully obvious that the man just picked whatever appeared at the top of a google list. 08:10 <tom> Who cares. He has the cash now. He can afford top five stuff. 08:13 <tom> It still feels weird to haul himself into the wrong side of the truck to get to the wheel. This fucking country. He's there a bit early, wearing new clothes and, unusually, no visor. 08:16 <tom> The building's some sort of converted shopping center wedged between a pair of hotels. Red brick. Reasonably classy. 08:19 <Quaker> Badawi gets off her crappy bike at the low point of the curb and wheels it over to the rack a few shops down from Sangam. She’s dressed in a grey hoodie, again, wrapped under a black winter coat and track pants. She hasn’t got her usual shawl or sunglasses on, and her short hair looks uncombed. Bob would see her slowly take out a bike lock from her satchel and put it through the frame and the metal. 08:20 <tom> He's just about to send off <did you get hit by a car> As she pulls up. "You know, with our Soyjak money you can just buy a new bike every time someone steals it." 08:21 <Quaker> Badawi hardly looks up. “It’s good exercise.” 08:22 <tom> He chuckles. "Yeah, yeah..." 08:22 <tom> "I'm gonna need help ordering, I don't know what's good." 08:23 <tom> It's November, so it's seasonably uncomfortable even in the early afternoon rain. "Your teeth giving you trouble?" 08:24 <Quaker> … 08:24 <Quaker> “No.” 08:24 <Quaker> “Just order tikka masala. It’s always good.” 08:26 <tom> Bob, who doesn't get it: "Good." He'll head inside, holding the door for Badawi and following in her wake. 08:26 <tom> He unzips his jacket and folds it under his arm once they're in the restaurant. "How was your vacation, anyway?" 08:27 <Quaker> Badawi sits down and orders water. “It was fine. I didn’t really go anywhere. Just Blackpool for a few days.” 08:27 <Quaker> “What did you want to talk to me about?” 08:29 <tom> "Um," Bob takes his seat and fiddles with his phone. "Mari's birthday is in a few days. I've got everything lined up- thanks for the hat, by the way..." 08:31 <Quaker> “You’re going to give it to her for her birthday?” 08:34 <tom> "Yeah. Yeah! And a new dress to match. She's on like, wow, this might be her last vacation ever, she's going hard into her medschool stuff after this month." 08:35 <tom> He rubs the back of his neck and eases down into his seat. "I just feel like I'm fucking this up somehow." 08:36 <Quaker> Badawi’s finger is tracing the names of the dishes on the menu. “You didn’t go with her on vacation?” 08:36 <tom> "Look, I don't know, like, anything," he admits. "Her vacation is hanging out at home. She doesn't really want to travel after, you know, Boston." 08:36 <tom> "And I've mostly been off playing soldier." 08:37 <Quaker> “You should make time for your spouse. Isn’t that the basic rule?” 08:38 <Quaker> She thrusts the folded menu out at a cringing waiter. “Just plain rice, thanks.” 08:39 <tom> "We're not married... yet..." he blushes, a bit. "Do you really think... I mean you barely've even talked to her. You think it'd work?" 08:40 <tom> Bob politely asks for the tikka masala and a frankly unreasonable amount of naan bread. 08:40 <Quaker> Badawi’s eyebrows lower, her lips purse into a tight line, and her shoulders shake in the universal gesture for ‘how should I know?’ “Why would I know better than you do?” 08:40 <Quaker> “I don’t know anything about your relationship.” 08:41 <tom> "That makes two of us." 08:41 <tom> Bob rolls his shoulders. "I'm sorta lost in the woods." 08:42 <Quaker> “With…” 08:42 <Quaker> “You’re lost trying to be in a relationship?” 08:43 <tom> "Yeeahhhh. I sort of, gave myself irreperable brain damage from years of doing too much irony and meth." 08:44 <tom> Bob sighs, hunches up over the table, and chews the ice from his now-emptied glass of water. "For example, here I am, asking you for advice on what to do because you're the only other Muslim woman I know." 08:45 <Quaker> “I’m not Muslim.” 08:46 <tom> "You know where I grew up they had dudes come in to our church and say you guys are trying to take over America and... well... it's not nice stufohmygod." 08:47 <tom> "Oh dude I am so sorry." 08:47 <tom> "I don't know how I fucked this up. Am I just racist?" 08:47 <tom> "Oh Christ I'm Rolf." 08:47 <Quaker> “Why did you think I’m Muslim?” 08:48 <tom> Bob, slumping over: "Hhhhhhhhh you wear a veil." 08:49 <tom> Even Bob isn't stupid enough to say that it's because she 'looks Muslim' even though that's true. 08:50 <Quaker> “What? No, I don’t. I wear a shawl, sometimes. I’ve never worn a veil.” 08:50 <Quaker> “I - do you mean a hijab? I don’t wear that, either.” 08:50 <tom> "Those are all different things?" 08:50 <tom> "You see- you see why- I'm fucked. Oh man." 08:51 <tom> "I am really sorry." 08:51 <Quaker> Her annoyance is morphing into sincere bewilderment. “I thought you spent all your time on the internet.” 08:51 <Quaker> “What are you doing on there?” 08:51 <tom> "...And you think the places I shitpost on have an accurate understanding of- Well, look." 08:52 <Quaker> “I thought you were…reading. Articles. News.” 08:52 <tom> Bob sighs, turns his phone around, shows her what he's been working on: https://i.imgur.com/uCNgjhJ.jpg 08:53 <Quaker> She looks at the phone, and back to him. “You do know how to read, don’t you?” 08:53 <tom> Bob is now properly ashamed as he puts his phone away: "We engaged in a text-based conversation not forty minutes ago." 08:54 <tom> "Look this is all just strengthening my central argument here." 08:55 <Quaker> Badawi takes her phone out, and opens her Messages. “They have text to speech now.” She shows him her phone, which reads: They have text to speech now. 08:55 <tom> He steeples his fingers. "I am literate. Please stop owning me, Agostina. I do enough of it to myself on my own." 08:56 <Quaker> “Wait, delete that. They have speech to text now.” She shows him again: They have speech to text now. 08:56 <tom> "My point is that it's basically just been luck that I haven't done something atrociously stupid that annihilates my relationship overnight." 08:57 <tom> "I really thought she'd be gone with the sun. But it keeps not happening, every morning, for half a year." 08:58 <Quaker> Inside her head, Agostina can hear herself say ‘I’m not a fucking therapist, idiot.’ Outside her head, she says, “I’m not a therapist, Bob.” Is she in a bad mood? Is she tired? Both? Hungry? Is her acid reflux acting up? All of them, really. 08:59 <tom> "Yeah, fair. So since you've effortlessly shredded my whole reason for inviting you here, you wanna move on, or just slip some poison into my drink? I'd settle for that." 09:01 <tom> Bob: "...Are you alright?" 09:03 <Quaker> He can almost feel her eyes slide off his face and settle on the middle distance beside him. And if he listens, he can hear her gently, slowly inhale. She leans back and folds her hands in her lap, thinking. 09:03 <Quaker> That’s her unconscious answer. Her conscious one is: “I’m fine. Thank you.” 09:04 <tom> "That bad, huh?" 09:04 <tom> "Where I'm from, that means I should expect the shooting to start in minutes." 09:04 <Quaker> Why did Amjad have to needle her after she played for those kids? He knew she was in a good mood. 09:06 <Quaker> “Isn’t that Orlando’s guitar?” the silver-haired driver had asked. “Where’s yours?” 09:06 <Quaker> Fuck off, that’s where it is. 09:07 <tom> The waiter pulls up with a tray of dishes and Bob politely takes the pile of steaming garlic naan. 09:07 <tom> He's crestfallen when he's told the Chicken Tikka will be out shortly, but rallies. 09:08 <tom> Tearing off a chunk of bread: "I'm sorry for being a complete fucking lunatic around you. I'm told that I'm getting better." 09:09 <Quaker> Agostina waits until the waiter leaves. Her spoon pokes halfheartedly at the bowl of rice, but she puts it down after a moment. Her elbow rests on the table, while her hand massages her temple. “What did you want to ask me. I will try to help you as best I can.” Bob can sense something giving way in her body language. 09:14 <tom> Bob mulls something over in his head while he waits for his chicken. "It's cool if you wanna pretend you didn't just hella backpedal and we don't talk about it." 09:15 <tom> "But it's clear you are having a bad time." 09:15 <tom> "Maybe worse than me? Who knows." 09:17 <tom> The Tikka Masala arrives: Bob beams and begins to systematically eradicate every trace from the plate. 09:17 <Quaker> “I am in a bad mood. It has nothing to do with you. Helping people close to me is how I work through that.” 09:18 <tom> "Heeeeey we do have something in common, then," He wipes his mouth with his napkin. 09:19 <tom> "Are we friends, Agostina?" 09:19 <Quaker> Badawi laughs. “I hope that it’s not too much.” 09:19 <Quaker> “Define friend.” 09:19 <tom> "I don't offer to murder people who torture my mere acquantainces." 09:20 <tom> Bob: "A friend is someone you're close to but don't f- I mean it's platonic, right?" 09:21 <Quaker> “Maybe I should rephrase that.” 09:21 <tom> "What does Platonic even mean?" 09:21 <tom> "Every time a nice lady's said that to me what I feel is disappointment." 09:21 <Quaker> “No. I mean rephrase how I work through things.” 09:22 <Quaker> “And yes, Bob. It is. Very much so.” 09:22 <tom> "You know," Says Bob, working on his chicken: "The reason I just... say stuff." 09:23 <Quaker> “Because you’re afraid of claiming responsibility for your words and actions?” 09:23 <tom> "It's just, well." Bob takes a sip of his drink. "Didn't used to be insane like this, or as stupid." 09:23 <tom> "Ha! Yeah, that's part of it." 09:24 <Quaker> “Well…blaming the drugs and all the killing is tried and true. Can’t go wrong with it.” 09:24 <tom> "Well," Bob swallows. "Eventually it just got too hard. It's not like I don't know I'm being dumb as fuck." 09:24 <tom> "I just couldn't keep it in any more." 09:24 <tom> "That shit kills you inside, you know? All that stuff you can't say." 09:25 <tom> "...It sounds to me like that's what's up, is all." 09:25 <tom> "Maybe I'm full of shit." 09:26 <Quaker> “Hold on. Just shut up for a second. Let me talk.” She holds up a hand. 09:26 <tom> "Yes'm." 09:26 <tom> Bob falls silent, picks at his chicken. 09:28 <Quaker> “I help people close to me *on their own terms*. In the specific ways they’ve let me be close to them. Just deciding to ignore all of my problems and throw myself into someone’s life without making a real effort to understand them is just…saying shit without thinking.” 09:30 <Quaker> “Helping others helps me because it is like…” She looks for the words with her hands. “Your good, strong relationships take lots of work. You are in those places as much as you are in your own head. You can take strength from those places. You are more than you.” 09:30 <tom> Bob doesn't already look like he's about to burst, but he's building to it. He'll wait until she gives him a clear signal that he's no longer banned from being stupid. 09:32 <Quaker> “You are not in a relationship with someone else’s mind. Your relationship is what you build with someone else, with what you both agree to grow into. Something new and better.” 09:32 <Quaker> “You will feel lost with Mariam as long as you are afraid that either of you learning each others secrets will drive you away from each other.” 09:32 <Quaker> “Do you understand what I’m saying?” 09:32 <Quaker> “You can speak.” 09:33 <tom> "Mariam is her sister. Her name's Mari." 09:33 <tom> "It's a Thing." 09:33 <Quaker> Badawi: “You marry them both. She’s Muslim, isn’t she? Technically she’ll be your second wife. You don’t have to actually live with her, but it’s in the paperwork.” 09:34 <tom> "I really can't tell if you're joking or not," Bob puts his head in his hands. 09:35 <Quaker> “I’m joking about that last part.” 09:35 <tom> "You say I'm not making an effort to understand but lady, love you, but you are not making this easy." 09:36 <tom> "I think if I offered to marry Mariam and Mari that nobody would end up... merry." 09:37 <tom> "I get what you're saying, and you're right, but I literally should be afraid that my secrets will drive her away." 09:37 <tom> "Becaue that is a statement of fact." 09:37 <Quaker> “Do you know what you want from your relationship with her?” 09:37 <tom> "I want... her to be happy. I want to be happy. Is that not enough?" 09:38 <Quaker> “No. Why do either of you have to be with the other to be happy?” 09:39 <tom> "We don't have to be, but can't we be happy... with each other?" 09:40 <Quaker> “And what do you have in mind? Specifically?” 09:40 <Quaker> “What do you dream about, with her?” 09:42 <tom> Bob, without hesitating even for a second: "The sound she makes when I kiss her thigh." 09:42 <tom> FUCK! 09:42 <tom> Bob rubs his forehead, which is instantly turning red. 09:43 <Quaker> Badawi doesn’t look particularly scandalized. She’s thinking about it. 09:43 <Quaker> “Why? Why does that make you happy? Why is it what you want from her?” 09:44 <tom> "She likes it when I kiss her there. And other places. Shut up, where are you going with this?" 09:45 <tom> He goes for more bread. Now he's sopping up the remaining sauce. 09:46 <Quaker> “That’s not what I mean. You don’t have to be in a relationship to have sex with someone — though you should be —“ She whispers this last part under her breath. “I mean, when you are intimate with her, what do you fantasize about her saying to you that would make you happy? *Emotionally* happy, mind you.” 09:48 <tom> "That I'm not-" Bob wrenches his face into a parody of a smile. "That I'm not a fucking killer. That I'm not what I obviously am." 09:48 <tom> "But I bet it'd just make me sad." 09:50 <Quaker> “Would she say anything about your future together with her? In your fantasies?” 09:53 <tom> He's eating the remaining white rice plain, just to empty the little dish orbiting his plate. 09:53 <tom> "I never really thought about our future together." 09:55 <tom> "That would involve thinking about my future." He knocks back the water. 09:55 <Quaker> “It’s not very surprising you think that your relationship has some problems.” 09:56 <tom> "I'm glad we agree." 09:57 <Quaker> “I’m not a therapist.” 09:57 <tom> "It's chill." 09:58 <tom> Bob makes sure he's positioned to get the check in case she tries to pre-empt him for some reason. 09:58 <Quaker> “I could tell you what I think. I can’t guarantee you’d like it. And don’t give me a shit-eating grin and say “ she tries her best flat American accent “‘Lady, I fucking love not liking it.’” 09:58 <tom> "Go ahead." 10:00 <Quaker> “I think you are projecting your desperate need for approval and love onto her. And it’s why you flirt with every woman we meet. You want some beautiful woman to scoop you up and tell you how good and strong you are, that you’re not at all evil.” 10:01 <tom> "Damn," says Bob after a minute. "Third time this week somebody read my damn mind." 10:02 <tom> The staffer gets a gigantic fucking tip for no apparent reason. 10:03 <tom> He puts down the pen and chews the last of his ice. 10:03 <tom> It's not good for your teeth, they say. 10:03 <Quaker> “Mari cannot convince you that you are okay. Or Suzie Cutsworth. Or Willie.” 10:03 <Quaker> “And you cannot be so strong for Mari that she will never have to worry again.” 10:03 <tom> "Wanna see me try?" 10:04 <Quaker> “No. I really do not.” 10:04 <tom> Bob's got his smile back. 10:04 <Quaker> “Because it would mean that you are still living in the fantasy world.” 10:04 <tom> "Yeah, so far they only let me go to the fantasy world on weekends." 10:05 <tom> Bob leans back. "Hhhhhhhit sucks how right you always turn out to be." 10:05 <Quaker> “God-DAMNIT!” She leans forwards and slaps the table as hard as she can with her palm. “Doesn’t this mean anything to you?” 10:05 <Quaker> She stands up suddenly, flipping her chair over onto the ground. “God damnit.” 10:06 <tom> "What the fuck-" 10:06 <Quaker> Badawi is pacing back and forth with her hands behind her back, looking at the ground. They’re pretty lucky it’s an otherwise empty dining room. 10:06 <tom> He's standing up, palms up, looking terrified. 10:07 <tom> "W-what the fuck are you doing?" He hisses. 10:08 <Quaker> “What is WRONG with this place? Everyone is so…*locked in* to their misery, to their awful little routines. It’s like an infection! Every single person here is just so…smug! They’re so smug about being miserable! No ambition, no dreams, just stewing in their shit, forever, crying about it-“ 10:09 <Quaker> “It’s an empty fucking dining room, Goreman!” She waves her arm around to point at the tables. 10:09 <tom> He'll try to upright the chair and warn away any of the wait staff that come asking. The tip just keeps getting bigger. 10:10 <Quaker> “I’m tired of it. I’m tired of just…floating. It was fine elsewhere, but here it’s like….god, it’s like you can feel yourself turning into them.” 10:10 <Quaker> “I need to be working towards something. *WE* need to be working towards something.” 10:11 <tom> Bill: "Can you start working toward not having a screaming tantrum because I tried to inject just a little bit of fucking levity into-" He sighs. 10:11 <tom> Bob: "I'm sorry." 10:12 <Quaker> “That’s what it means to be HUMAN, Bob! You like being stupid so much, go be stupid and tell Mari that you love her so much, you’ll change for the better through hard work and love her forever and never ever flirt with anyone unless she lets you. That’s pretty fucking Hard, Bob.” 10:13 <Quaker> “I can pace, Bob! Stop acting like it’s such a big fucking deal stacked up against all your shit! And Willie’s shit! Jesus.” She looks at the kitchen door, where the staff is discreetly waiting for her to leave. 10:14 <tom> "You are freaking me out." 10:14 <Quaker> Badawi puts a generous tip on the table. “We can go.” 10:14 <tom> "Can we? Because now I think I actually hate you." 10:15 <Quaker> “Oh, I’m freaking *you* out? Sorry that I’m not just making jokes all the time.” 10:16 <Quaker> She walks back to her bike. “You want to stop feeling guilty? Go to therapy. You want to stop dealing with your problems? Go back to the internet.” 10:17 <tom> "Have fun finding Haldane on a train and screaming at him." 10:17 <tom> Bob stays and orders a beer. 10:45 <Quaker> - 10:45 <Quaker> - 10:45 <Quaker> - 10:45 <Quaker> - 10:45 <Quaker> - 10:45 <Quaker> Amjad is halfway through Any Old Port In A Storm when the phone rings. “Yeah?” 10:46 <Quaker> “Are you busy?” 10:46 <Quaker> He lowers the volume on Donald Pleasance braining his playboy brother and leans forward. “No. Why, do you need me somewhere?” 10:47 <Quaker> “No, no…just wondering if I could come over tonight.” 10:49 <Quaker> The apartment is clean, and cozy. He was just about to light the fire in the hearth. He’s put his things up on the walls and the mantle. “Of course. When should I expect you?” 10:50 <Quaker> “In a few minutes. Thank you.” 10:51 <Quaker> Agostina hangs up, and looks up at Amjad’s building. Better give him a few minutes. She circles the nearby blocks at random for a few minutes before bringing her bike up the stairs and into the elevator. 10:54 <Quaker> When Amjad opens the door, the fire is lighting up the room. “Come out of the cold, beta. Have you eaten? I can order something for us. There’s actually a Pakistani shop at the end of the store. Mr. Khan. A nice man, I’ve spoken to him.” 10:56 <Quaker> Agostina nods. “Sure. I didn’t really…my stomach. Not feeling great, lately.” 11:02 <Quaker> Amjad: “Ah. Your IBS?” 11:03 <Quaker> Agostina seems to shrink even smaller. But she does nod. 11:06 <Quaker> Amjad gently shuts the door behind her. “Make us some tea and I’ll call Mr. Khan. And I’ll get the good blankets out of the closet.” 11:06 <Quaker> In the kitchen, she grabs the Ceylon tea from the top of the refrigerator and puts the kettle on. From the other room, she can hear Amjad speaking in Urdu. 11:08 <Quaker> His voice fades in and out with the sound of the fire crackling on the logs. “….my daughter is visiting, and she was…yes…oh, certainly…really? I would appreciate it. Yes, certainly. Thank you very much. Goodbye.” 11:11 <Quaker> Both of her hands, not just her left, are shaking when she puts the teabags in the mugs. Not just her left hand. Both hands. Her hands are shaking. She turns the key in her head. Her hands are shaking. It’s alright. It’s just her hands. She turns the key in her head. Her hands are shaking. It’s alright. It’s just her head. She turns the key with her hands in her head. Her head is shaking. Not just her hands. 11:12 <Quaker> Amjad takes her hands in his. “Go sit down, beta. I’ll make us the tea.” 11:13 <Quaker> The good blankets are the soft, heavy ones with a big tiger on them. They really are the best blankets. She sits on the right-most recliner in front of the television and closes her eyes. 11:14 <Quaker> She pulls the blanket up over her body after taking her coat off. Was is it raining? Her shirt has wet spots dotting it. 11:16 <Quaker> She turns the key inside her head. She turns the key inside her head with her hands. She turns the key inside her head with her hands to close the door. She turns the key inside her head with her hands to close the door to block the sound. Her hands and her head are shaking but she turns the key inside her head with her hands to close the door to block the sound to get some quiet to take a nap to feel better. 11:18 <Quaker> She opens her eyes and Amjad is standing there, rattling a pill bottle and holding her mug of tea. He puts both down on the end table next to her. “Take one of these.” 11:18 <Quaker> “What is it?” 11:18 <Quaker> There’s a knock on the door, and Amjad goes to answer. “Xanax.” 11:20 <Quaker> She takes one, and Amjad comes back, holding some tupperware in canvas grocery bags. “Mr. Khan says he hopes you are feeling better soon. His wife made this for us. Goat biryani.” 11:21 <Quaker> She eats, and he eats, and they watch Any Old Port In A Storm. 11:24 <Quaker> Around the time Donald Pleasance is screaming at a waiter in a restaurant and storming out, she falls asleep. 11:26 <Quaker> She wakes up long enough to realize Amjad is helping her out of the chair and into the guest bedroom, and then she falls back into a very quiet black space. 11:27 <Quaker> …. 11:27 <Quaker> …… 11:27 <Quaker> ……….. 11:29 <Quaker> A man’s voice speaks next to her ear, behind her, where she can’t see. “Why don’t you shut your fucking smart mouth and get in the car?” 11:31 <Quaker> Agostina opens her eyes and the crook of her left arm hurts and she feels like she’s going to throw up if she thinks about how much she wants to throw up. The room is dark except for a single white line against a dark rectangle shape. 11:31 <Quaker> She can smell eggs and bacon. 11:32 <Quaker> Oh. She’s in Amjad’s apartment. The line is the edge of the curtain where the light is coming in. It’s light outside. 11:35 <Quaker> She brings the blanket with her and walks to the curtain, pulling it back. To her surprise, the normal grey of the sky and city streets is a bright white. There’s snow. Not very much, but… 11:35 <Quaker> It’s winter. 11:36 <Quaker> There’s a suitcase with some of her clothes and some toiletries next to the bed. Amjad must have gone to her place while she slept. 11:38 <Quaker> She checks her watch. 11:30. She checks her phone. No messages. 11:40 <Quaker> I just don’t want to get fucked over. 11:42 <Quaker> Around 11:35 she goes up into the dining room and sits down at the breakfast table with her legs curled up under her like a cat and the big blanket hanging around her like a pelt. 11:43 <Quaker> Amjad puts down a glass of water in front of her. “Do you want to eat?” 11:43 <Quaker> “Yes please.” 11:43 <Quaker> “Make toast, then.” 11:45 <Quaker> She does, and then she sits down and they both eat. 11:46 <Quaker> Amjad reads the Financial Times while she cleans the pans. 11:46 <Quaker> “Have you got anything later in the afternoon?” 11:46 <Quaker> “No.” 11:47 <Quaker> “There’s some new Robert Mitchum movies on the streaming service. I’m going to watch those.” 11:48 <Quaker> Agostina thinks about it. 11:48 <Quaker> “Do you have any more firewood?” 11:48 <Quaker> “In the cabinet next to the hearth.” 11:49 <Quaker> She makes the fire for them this time. 11:50 <Quaker> She knows Amjad likes the cold while he’s under a blanket, so she cracks the window open just a crack, just wide enough for lone snowflakes to sometimes wander in. 11:51 <Quaker> Robert Mitchum is tracking Jane Greer down in Mexico when Amjad lowers the volume a bit and asks her what’s wrong. 11:53 <Quaker> She tells him basically everything. 11:53 <Quaker> Including last night. 11:56 <Quaker> “It’s not right that they put me in danger and always act unprofessionally and then get mad at me when I blow my top at them. It’s very manipulative. Everything they do is forgivable if they feel bad enough about it. I get mad at it and I’m a crazy bitch.” 11:57 <Quaker> Amjad: “Did they call you that?” 11:57 <Quaker> “No, but they think it.” 11:58 <Quaker> “You can’t control what other people do. You can only set boundaries for yourself.” 12:00 <Quaker> Agostina leans back. “It’s just….” 12:05 <Quaker> She thinks for a while. “I think that I’m lonely, too. It makes me mix up how I should act with them. They like to be very chummy. But they are also a bit self-centered. So it’s like…I keep thinking they want to be friends but I forget that they also really want someone to tell them they’re fine. Which is different than what I need from a friendship.” 12:07 <Quaker> “I don’t know. I shouldn’t be so concerned about what they’re like or what they want. I’m not very good at reading people. I can’t tell what they actually want deep down. But I don’t need to know. I just need to do my job. And they need to do theirs. Thats it.” 12:07 <Quaker> “Work is work. Life is life. I don’t need to mix the two.” 12:10 <Quaker> Amjad: “I think that sometimes you become too concerned about the opinions of others. And you think that because you are, you think that they should listen to you. But they won’t, because besides your friends and family nobody is really thinking much about anyone else’s opinion.” 12:14 <Quaker> “You have enough responsibilities, Agostina. You cannot be responsible for others in your work. You can be professional and honest and polite. That’s all you owe. If you need more, find it elsewhere.” 12:16 <Quaker> The older man gets up and puts the kettle on. “I think you seem lonely, too.” 12:16 <Quaker> “I am. I miss everyone.” 12:16 <Quaker> Amjad nods. “I feel lonely too, sometimes. I feel much less lonely since coming here and seeing you.” 12:17 <Quaker> She gets up, too, and hugs the old man for a long time. 12:18 <Quaker> “I miss my old life.” 12:18 <Quaker> “I do too, beta.” 12:19 <Quaker> He brings them back tea. “Speaking of our old life. Ali called me the other day.” 12:20 <Quaker> Agostina is halfway through drinking when her lips reflexively half-smile and say “what?” which means she kind of clumsily dribbles hot tea back into her mug and goes “wrg”. 12:21 <Quaker> When she’s recovered: “What? Why? How did he even find you?” 12:22 <Quaker> Amjad sniffs. “He found my family on Facebook, and then fished around for a number. It’s amazing what people will buy if you’re a man and you ask in Urdu.” 12:23 <Quaker> “So…’cousin’ Ali called me, and after some very tiresome conversation asked me in a roundabout way if I was still working with you.” 12:24 <Quaker> Agostina looks into the cup of tea and shudders. “Jesus.” 12:24 <Quaker> “What did you say?” 12:26 <Quaker> Amjad looks mildly offended. “I’m semi-retired and not in the business of telling former business associates the details of my personal life. I told him that if he was so interested he could call you himself, and that all I knew was that I was enjoying taking my nieces to school, thank you very much.” 12:26 <Quaker> “Ha…” 12:27 <Quaker> Agostina thinks about it. Images of gold chains and unbuttoned dress shirts and bluetooth headsets and the Peaky Blinders haircut flash in front of her mind’s eye. 12:31 <Quaker> “He’d be useful. I can’t deny him that. Plenty of local petty knots for him to untangle around here.” 12:33 <Quaker> Amjad glares. “You can’t seriously think that. He was never worth as much as the trouble he makes for himself.” 12:34 <Quaker> Agostina leans back in the recliner. “I defer to your judgment.” 12:34 <Quaker> They watch Robert Mitchum some more in silence, until she turns towards him. 12:36 <Quaker> “Did I glare at you when you asked me where my guitar was the other night? At the thing with the kids?” 12:36 <Quaker> Amjad is taken aback. “…you might have. Why?” 12:38 <Quaker> “I’m sorry, Amjad. I was just very….very frustrated. With this whole situation. I misunderstood you. I took it out on you. I felt…unimportant again. I asked someone from work there as a friendly gesture and realized that it was just more work for him.” 12:39 <Quaker> “I try to connect. I realize that I’m not very important to them. I lash out.” 12:39 <Quaker> “I’m sorry.” 12:41 <Quaker> Amjad chews it over. “I could tell something was off when I picked you up.” 12:42 <Quaker> Agostina: “And Martina asked me why I don’t play my guitar anymore. At Carlisle. Up at the house by the sea. In the dream.” 12:43 <Quaker> “Oh.” He look surprised. “What did you say?” 12:43 <Quaker> “I didn’t say anything. I woke up.” 12:45 <Quaker> “Hm.” Amjad considers it. “I’m sure she only meant it in a friendly way. You know how much she likes you. She can’t tell where she is most of the time.” 12:47 <Quaker> “I know. It just unbalanced me.” 12:50 <Quaker> “You are under a lot of stress.” 12:57 <Quaker> Amjad: “Do you mind me asking where your guitar is?” 12:57 <Quaker> She shrugs under the blanket. “My apartment. Somewhere in a closet.” 13:00 <Quaker> “Can I hear it sometime?” 13:00 <Quaker> How can she deny him? “Yes.” 13:01 <Quaker> The older man nods slowly. “Thank you.” 13:02 <Quaker> “Goreman thought I was Muslim. Isn’t that…funny?” Her voice shows exactly how funny she thinks it is. 13:02 <Quaker> “Goreman thought I was Muslim. Isn’t that…funny?” Her voice shows exactly how funny she thinks it is. 13:03 <Quaker> “Every little thing here is like a reminder how far I am from home.” 13:03 <Quaker> Amjad sits up. “Don’t talk nonsense, Agostina.” 13:03 <Quaker> “While you are here in my house, you are home.” 13:05 <Quaker> “I’m going to sign you up for Shafiq’s school as an afternoon volunteer. Two days a week to start. You need it.” 13:06 <Quaker> By the time she falls asleep again under the blanket, in front of an old movie and the fire, she can hear his voice faintly in the kitchen, speaking to the headmaster in Urdu. 13:17 <Quaker> The magical things, the wonderful King, the adventures so far away 13:18 <Quaker> But it’s good to be home, with the friends that I know, it’s a place that I want to stay 13:19 <Quaker> It’s good to be home, I’m never alone, when I got my own good friends beside me 13:20 <Quaker> Wherever I go, I always know, my home is a castle, to me…